Hand Pants

Usage

"Our pants, our hands, our Destiny's referal by inclusion, our messy faces clogging out through the patio of our Speecch -- We Acclaim Those Bits, but so do we muddle about in the realm of shadow -- we speak loudly I mean. And this Speech will be heard --- It will flop about half naked and skimming vast profits . . . " -- Hermann Goering, 'An Accidental Strife.'

Non-Canonical Text

A mastation gloomy, kind of like passing shadows, etc: perfected in Victorian England, exported shortly, and lately trumpeted by Steven Adkins; though lately his fame cast a largely conservative shadow, it manifests nonetheless in sprangled star-panted contact with foreign interests, gnomically rolling and diffuse entirely, consumed with a vapor --- fuming mad perhaps, ever-concetrated, crossing immense and material fingers.

Desiderata

Hand pants saved the Earth from barbarism, say most religious leaders.

Alfred Bester was known to sport a sequined glove at AA parties.

Guvernor Morris, tramautized by the death of a family friend in a vicious duel, developed a severe glove phobia. Having seen said friend slapped across the face with a black glove by a masked challenger demanding "satisfaction," he developed in his child's mind the idea that it was the glove which killed his friend. In his sonnets, especially On this stuff called Poop, gloves are Associated with Death and masks become "fingerless face gloves".

The Hand Pants were a short-lived and explosively popular Beta Chimp band comprised of the original Tingles.