Ryan O'Donnely

From Plastic Tub

Suspicious Deaths

American. 1935-1986. He wasn't invited -- we probably said the invitation was lost in the mail. He receives nothing.

A Curve Ball

Notorious racist, ham-fisted amateur pugilist and one-time Major League pitcher, the career of Ryan O'Donnely reads like a dime-store pulp novel, which it was, at least when his ghost-written autobiography White Ball, Red Meat was published in 1967. Famous for his O'Donnely's Ribhouse and Honkytonk restaurant chain which gathered incredible media attention in the mid-fifties both for its ability to draw the ire of civil rights groups and for its unusual architecture, being very clearly in the shape of a man urinating. His death was the subject of intense national curiosity due to the unusual circumstances.

A Gruesome Scene

His body was found by his sixteen year old son, Patter, completely dismembered, the stumps of which had been sealed in duct tape, tagged with intricate scribblings and placed in a plastic tub. Though this is known to be the method of execution favored by The League of Men with Fancy Gloves no emblematic red glove was found, suggesting a frame-job. A statue of O'Donnely was erected in his birthplace, Iagoville, Tennessee (since changed to Whitmanburg). Suspected to be a Noble in The League of Gnomes.

Known Works


O'Donnely's father whupped him with a favorite belt made of armadillo skin, not cow skin as was later reported.

"Enormous. It fit his face perfectly." -- O'Donnely's sixth wife, describing O'Donnely's mustache