The League of Gnomes

From Plastic Tub

Oppositional Groupings and Secret Orders

Fashionable group of Poets and wayward mystics seemingly gathered to harrass the establishment, the revolution, the avant-garde and the Accidental Associationalists, especially their journal Reticent 27.

The League was founded in 1943 by John P. Merriweather in New York City and had spread to Philadelphia, Boston, Richmond and Washington, D.C. by 1945. Each city consisted of a "Grotto" comprised of anywhere between three (the minimum) and 13 (the maximum). Grottos weren't independent and answered to the authority of the New York Grotto.

By 1947 Grottos existed in Lebanon, London, Toulouse, Paris, Milan, Naples, Madrid, Bucharest and Cairo.

Grotto activity was limited during the Second World War, but from 1950 to 1970 the League of Gnomes' growth remained steady. A series of highly publicised altercations with the The League of Men with Fancy Gloves caused them to cease their public activity in early 1971. Although they are known to have Grottos in nearly every major city in the world, their current membership and raison d'être remains unknown.

It should be noted that recent evidence, presented by a plethora of scholars working independently of one another, presents a strong case that the League's 1943 birthdate may only refer to the exoteric manifestation of what was once an even more strictly occult secret society. They suggest that recent activity attributed to the Gnomes is due to sloppiness brought on by over exuberance in the face of some bold plan, or, more likely, results from clues left intentionally by the Gnomes to raise public awareness of their existence for some unknown but presumably nefarious purpose. Some have gone so far as to suggest that the Gnomes operate with a certain deliberately attention-drawing clumsiness that is intended to serve as a distraction from the more iniquitous designs of a larger and darker plot. In either case, something is afoot, and the clues point to an organizing force far older than the 60 or so years routinely ascribed to the Gnomes.

Organizational Structure

The three grades of The League of Gnomes are Troglodyte, Kthonoïd and Noble.

Troglodytes are initiates and plebian members whose main tasks are largely clerical. They ascend rank ceremoniously in accordance with a Lunar Calander. They are recognizable by the secret emblem on the obverse side of their red ties. All Troglodytes can become Kthonoïd over time whereas Nobles are appointed on merit.

Kthonoïds are Midlevel Members organized in a complex hierarchical system. Thier main duty is to maintain the many different clandestine operations and organizing sub-groups for operational tasks. The upper-echelon Kthonoïds are responsible for party ideology and propaganda. Much of the bulkwork of misinformation is created here. Kthonoïds tapped for Nobles are assigned a Mentor and groomed for specific missions. They are Recognizable because of their incredibly shiny pocketwatches inscribed with the secret symbols of the League.

Nobles are notoriously silent and still remain an enigma. There are no records of anyone ever infiltrating this highest level, and it is assumed that most of the Nobles in fact do not know who most of the other Nobles are. Although a Large Quantity of publications are attributed to The League Of Gnomes, very little is known about The Authors or their secret society's internal orderings. Many famous people are rumored to be Nobles but their odd behavior is considered to be a side-effect of celebrity. Nobles are unrecognizable.


Currently active, despite the rumours that "its members hived off."


Unusually prolific, League of Gnomes grottos each produce publications of local interest, the most influential of which is probably "Stop! You!", a rare phonographic picture-disk which today commands a price in the millions of dollars.

Cheap Skirt, misogynist agit-prop.

The Sprout Continuum, a program for the corruption of youth.

Suspected Involvement

The Gnomes have been exposed several times working behind the scenes at some of the more radical events of the late 20th century. The League of Men with Fancy Gloves infiltrated the Gnomes and sabotaged several Experiments. Several seemingly random Incidents were really frame jobs set up in retaliation for Putti-Porn Blackmailing.

The Gnomes have nothing to do with banking, but due to British politician Harold Wilson's speech on November 12, 1956 referring to Swiss bankers as "little Gnomes of Zurich," the association has settled into the silty substrata of the popular imagination.

Although not definitively proven, Franz Hartmann's allegorical novel from 1896, Among The Gnomes: An Occult Tale of Adventure in Untersberg, is said to contain several clues pointing to the origins of the league. Whether true or not, Tub aficianados will be delighted to learn that Untersberg was the site of a Templar commandery that plays an important part in the mythology of the Fallen Stone as the alleged birthplace of the German SS, whose initials are said to refer to a "black stone"--in these legends commonly thought to be the Holy Grail.

The Gnomes are almost certainly deeply involved in the proliferation of Mormo Cults and thus, orchestrating the Ritual Murders--often camouflaged in public events which implicate innocent parties--that are necessary to satiate Mormo's thirst for blood in accordance with the Mormo Death Cycle. Recently, occult detectives have linked the Gnomes to an international kidnapping ring aimed at harvesting children for use in their rituals. Horrible stories of rape, murder, torture and imprisonment, though unsubstantiated, abound.

See Also

The League is known to use many fronts, including those in the cardboard box manufacturing sector.
The League is known to use many fronts, including those in the cardboard box manufacturing sector.


shihchiengt02's Xanga Site: It is called the Longhorn League of Gnomes , or LOG for short . This is a club I have made to find nice, interesting people around campus , who hopefully ...