Incidentalist Dead Flesh Bonanza

From Plastic Tub

A Way Outre

The Incidentalist Dead Flesh Bonanza is an annual barbecue (BBQ) held on the American continent since the late 1960's. Though the origin of the festival is obscure, it's contemporaneous manifestation served as an immediately adequate curative to the strife resulting from the 3rd AA International Conference. Currently cookin' up the goods every last Saturday in August, it attracts up to 500 visitors each year. Abdullah (Bean Man) Alabudi edged out an unknown named Dill Herbert at last year's chili cook-off, but the competition is as hot as the chili.

Counting Beans

The sack race, egg toss and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey are still popular activities, though since 1990 they've been held earlier in the day to combat the effects of drunkenness. Stimes Addisson tripped over a cowshoe at the 1970 Bonanza and fractured his hip. The hip, thoroughly shattered, was but one of many ailments which plagued Addisson in his later years. Cane in tow, "Make way for the gimp!" became the battle cry when confronted with a queue, usually accompanied by a grinning cartwheel of grace.

Cooking With Fire

The Bonanza was last held in August 2004 in Tampa at the residence of early AARG sympathist Douglas Coyle. Current AA partisans Tim Wilson, Steven Vogeler, Krystine Monitzer and Steven Adkins attended the shin-dig with bells on -- literally. Shaped like crude dreidls, these playful objects spun like the beards on a belly dancer, which is to say, counter-clockwise. The bells, in addition to warding off mosquitos, commemorated the creation of the golem as described in the Poobinomicon and added delightful jingle-jangling to the rough and tumble of the three-legged race and the wheelbarrow. A watermelon weighing 13 pounds was ritually consumed.

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Desiderata


Military doctors have long known that maggots do a good job of eating dead flesh on a live person.

Dead Flesh is Gnome slang for their intended victims