From Plastic Tub

labyrinth jlb 1. A unicursal path wound to a central turn-about. 2. A geomachynically-rendered purificator utilized in ritualized ablations of the soul. 3. A Greek Key fit with a lock.


...toomed entanglements, walled, mine eyes bereft..

From the AA uncoils the Tub.


TerraWee briefly sported an elaborate labyrinth named Saturn.

Alembic Devices and Processes

Its concentric rings of shrubbery circled a deep sinkhole, and Watchtowers orbited the outskirts. Art Doll pumped the sinkhole full of pancake batter, flash-fried the surface, and slathered it with gallons of butter.1  Doll had intended to raise funds by selling off chunks of pancake at TerraWee's Solar Bakery, but an early winter storm turned his giant flapjack into an ice-skating rink. The unflappable Doll simply took it as support for his pancake interruptus theory.

Doll kept a well-worn copy of Dr. "Alamo" Jane Jenkins' labyrinth treatise2  by his bedside. From the introduction:

Ancient labyrinths dot the globe from the arctic to the Mediterranean. Unlike the maze, whose object is to befuddle those going from Point A to Point B, the highly-stylized labyrinth loops one to the core and back out the same path. Labyrinths have long served as physical manifestations of metaphorical journeys wherein one returns from tribulations (or wanderings), bettered. Similar devices include Mt. Fuji, Dante's Inferno, beanstalks, and the Bath-Marie. Like the Bath-Marie, a labyrinth draws the impure into a central chamber, removes impurities, and expels the purified agent while containing the baser stuff.
The most famous labyrinth stems from gnostic Minoan legends. Daedalus fathered the labyrinth as a boneyards for the minotaur and placed his son Icarus inside. Icarus crept darkly through the hunimal tomb before leaping out in angelic ascension, ditching his burdensome Father. Of course the gods casually swat him back to earth, his journey perhaps more transhumance than transhuman or alchemic. "Ah but that brief moment of flight," crooned the fallen angel in phoenix-like recollection."3 
Birth itself apes this process: a sperm wriggling through feminal channels to the womb, joined to an egg (its halfness lost), expelled some nine months later -- now somehow greater than its original form, more than the slimy stuff shot forth by the Father into the void. Just ask Oedipus. Oedipus, like Daedalus before him, placed his son inside a labyrinth of his own making. Will the lesson ever be learned? Fathers beware -- your children are unlikely to forgive their creation.

It should be noted that Doll, unlike Jenkins, had no officially recognized off-spring,4  though he often refered to the astromical observatories in his watchtowers as "my babies".


Note 1:   According to Doll, "Sinkholes are manifest evidence of Donut Earth, that thin crust collapsing to yield the hollowed innards. Why, it's only natural to fill such holes with batter. Only a damn fool would leave an unattended grotto laying about his land. That's just asking for a bunch of Gnomes to come make themselves at home." Of course, Art Doll also claimed to have found a fully-realized labyrinthodonut fossil (teeth and all) stuck amongst the garbage strewn bowels of the pit -- who are we (mere scientific laypersons) to argue that it was, in fact, a labyrinthodont?

Note 2:  Full title: “Labyriths and Mirrors: Reflections on the Twisted History and Proper Usage of Myself”; subtitle: “Note on Self”; genre: oddly, not autobiographical. We should note here that Jane and Art had a “brief encounter” at the Fourth AA International Conference, after which they maintained a life-long correspondence that “held a tender yet refreshingly Victorianesqe timbre of amour courtois” (Waingrip, 2005 -- both quotes). Jane cried when Art died. Her husband, however, did not.

Note 3:  The emphasis was Doll's. Ironically, this phrase was later spoken at his memorial.

Note 4:  We need not note that rumors, of course, abound.

See Also


Labyrinth and labia share etymological roots, stemming back to a Latin word for "lip".