Hunimal

From Plastic Tub

hunimal (humanimal) n. 1. Coined, probably, by esteemed revisionist historian Michael Hoffman II, the hunimal is a hybrid composed of both animal and humans parts; a chimera. 2. A tautology constructed in the pejorative and considered profoundly offensive to the religious -- particularly to Tridentine Catholics, Protestants, Hindus, Sikhs, ill-tempered Buddhists, Druze, and conservative Muslims. Humanists, Athiests, Jews and Illuminists seem down with it.

Extrapolation


The most famous hunimal is no doubt the Minotaur, whose ferocious half-bull aspect kicked ass.

Usage


"What do you get when a Jew has a Gentile's baby? A filthy hunimal." - Maimonides, radical Semite and anti-aryan activist.

"Is not the hunimal the very definition of Monstrous Science?" - Dr. Joseph Peter Whiteman, 1995 sermon.

Non-Canonical Text


"…wild animals full of monkey antics, ugly in temper and hard to manage…no orang-outang could climb a tree with more agility than they displayed. If you examine their little fingers you will find that conformation such as to afford them astonishing prehensile power, enabling them to grip an object and retain their hold. Either of them can lift his entire body by his little finger, and so swing to and fro, in the manner of a Borneo gorilla" -– A "geek pamphlet" (c. 1878) describing a the Wild Men of Borneo, a pair of traveling gaffed freaks (Bogdan 1990).

See Also


Monstrous Science

This human ear was grafted onto a mouse, resulting in outrage and hostility to Hunimalism.
Enlarge
This human ear was grafted onto a mouse, resulting in outrage and hostility to Hunimalism.

Desiderata


Hunimals can often pass themselves off as human, covering their hooves, tails or horns with outrageous fashions and bulky flapcoats.

Hunimals often front popular rock bands, as singers perhaps, more rarely, as soup containers.