Goat
From Plastic Tub
Revision as of 01:33, 11 Apr 2005
goat n. 1. Multipurpose omnivore 2. Ancient symbol of Lasciviousness 3. AA totem animal (see Extrapolation, below). 4. The tenth sign of the zodiac in astrology 5. Alternatley symbolic of both gluttony and aspiration.
| Table of contents |
Usage
"Eat-in?
Extrapolation
Common usage and slang is generally extrapolated from the pig defined as a dirty animal and a tasty treat:
- A pig skin is a football.
- To pig out is to eat too much.
- A pig-in-a-blanket is a corndog.
The AA totem pig was famously aped by William Golding in Lord of the Flies; it's origin, however, is unclear. Gnome psy-ops tried to link it to claims of Jew-baiting, but this is doubtful.
The most obvious and common connection between the AA and pigs is a spit. Nevid Kessar once remarked that “wherever you find a dozen AAers together, heavy drinking and a pig roast can’t be far behind.” Indeed, all the annual AA gatherings as well as the 2nd and 3rd AA International Conferences have included plenty of both. For a more in depth look, readers can refer to Mazzistow Carrington and Nevid Kessar's seminal BBQ scholarship in the Auto-Colonial Bee.
A more bizarre theory was put forth in 1973 by Burt Reynolds, self-styled amateur pigologist. During a drunken encounter with Addisson and Adid, Reynolds apparently accused the AAers of being “squealing pig fuckers.” A furious Adid said he’d never squealed in his life. Addisson replied with a simple “hogwash.”
One final theory worth noting stems from Pigs and Men, the scholarly tome that is lovingly referred to as the Pig Bible by pig scholars worldwide (see Non Canonical Text, below). Nevid Kessar once avoided a fist fight with a curiously angry Iowan by sarcastically agreeing with this argument: “The AA is mysterious, and so were the Eleusianians, so what the hell, yeah, you must be right – the connection is obvious.”
As is often the case, Addisson retains the final word on the subject: “Pigs are like the Bible: you take from a pig what you bring to a pig. But sometimes, Andy, a pig is just a pig” (from a letter to Andy Rooney, pigologist and TV commentator, in 1956).
Non Canonical Text
Carcassonne.
|
Oppositional Groupings and Secret Orders |
- Andy Rooney, Pigs and Men, 1948 (updated in 2003), Columbia University Press.
