The Worship of Tits

From Plastic Tub

Closely associated with the worship of dongs, snatches and the apotheosis of the arse-hole, the worship of tits is a religious tradition thought to have developed among neolithic agrarian communities in Northern Europe and Mesopotamia. Lately characterized by a lurid depiction of breast and buttock, the belief in sympathetic semen transferral, demoniacal intercourse and all manner of para-pornographic iconography, the true mechanics of ancient tit-worship can only be deduced from surviving religious tradition.

While some religious historians classify Mormo worship as tit worship, others, most notably Bashy Gupta at the Copenhagen Poob Research Institute, claim to have demonstrated that Mormo Worshippers are in fact predominantly "ass men of the most profound sort."

Gupta is known throughout the demi-monde of international lecturers who frequently agitate in favor of outlandish theories. Clem Harvester, in his 27 Refutations:

"Most historians who have addressed this subject are dreamers. Mormo is phallic and if it pays any attention to tits, it is as a place to plunge his so-called fiery sword, that is to say his penis. Mormo worship bears little if any relation to the worship of tits. For this we need look no further than Pooban architectural iconography symbolizing the only religion they can ever come to know. What are their capitol builings if not enormous tits, those domes with a cupola, or nipple, behind which the blue sky can be seen? I propose that even a Poob, a true Poob, will not succumb to the temptations of the Devil God. Mormo is mute to them, these Poobs, who serve country and God, and who generally shrink from such heresies. Mormo seeks the vagina and the anus. Their architecture belies a split within the ranks. We can no longer identify the Mormo with the Poob! There is something deeper than Poob." (p.55)
"The buttocks mean nothing to Mormo, in and of themselves. It's what lies inside, preferably to the depth of the soul. Gupta has made an error. The representation of buttocks has nothing to do with worship. He has been known to ascribe the AA phenomenon to ancestral criminal gangs. This is ludicrous as is his "ass-man" claim. This is all incidental to something else." (p.77)

The previous text goes on like this for some 200 more pages, equally as incoherent. What the author does manage to establish, despite his innaccuracies and distortions of the Gupta evidence, however, is that Mormo worship doesn't seemd to be especially concerned with either ass or tits.


A. "...ass worship, tight teen asses, porn fucking my ass hole..."
B. " then promptly replace it with the Big Tits In The Sky. all that is not to denigrate the evidence of prehistoric goddess worship at all..."
C. "...tis between the symmetry of the symmetry that asseverate our humble origins..."

See Also

The Venus of Willendorf, heavily endowed with Tit, also appeals to worshippers of the hind quarters.
The Venus of Willendorf, heavily endowed with Tit, also appeals to worshippers of the hind quarters.

Toward A Solid Understanding of The Mammaries

This short poem is alleged to have been written by Guvernor Morris, in his own semen, over the course of three weeks, onto the back of his chambermaids pot-shirt: