Bashy Gupta

From Plastic Tub

Born 1938 in New Dehli. He is a Gastropod. He arrives by parthenogenesis. He receives fertilizer. His arms tied in a delicate bow, he flies away with the aid of butter.

Crap in Pants

Pain in the ass man of color in a bérét. His suits are cheap and unappealing. In addition to being an accomplished scholar on the aspects of Dong and Tit Worship, he has gathered an extensive unpublished dossier on the Mormo cult.

He is the first to have proposed a theory wherein the followers of Mormo have continued until the present in rivalry with another sect, unspecified.

Agents of both cults are said to have been active in the American Revolution. A few Founding Fathers have been implicated.

Boy Scout

The theory goes that the AA is the descendant of a secret society that has been historically opposed by the ancestors of the League of Gnomes.

His thesis is confused and far from complete, but it does point out some startling facts.

Namely that the ancestors of Stimes Addisson and his various nemeses have been engaged in a series of feuds and underhanded dealings since at least 1688. Their warfare continued through the Revolution and up until the middle of the last century. Now, the deracinated families are a series of old men and acquaintances lost in a fray of hearsay, counter-illusion and advocacy.

Gupta claims the AA was founded upon precepts devised by criminals, and the Gnomes by criminals who opposed them.

Most of the surviving AA, of course, call Gupta's theories "hogwash."

Kippers on Toast

But is it, true? Do the blue flags in Dayton on Stimso's birthday merely mean it's hat day at the local Hess station? No. Gupta was an immigrant, idealistic, bald and full of charm, and his perceptive faculties were limited by a painfully obvious prejudice against that which is for that which should be. Yet he still hit on many vital organs. Addison's kin were smugglers and involved in the exciting fields of shipping and cartography. Current opponents, incidental or otherwise, are involved in similar fields but always as competitors. See Xenophon Aliokrate for example.

In any event, due to the controvery, this article is still to be considered provisionary: As much as we may dislike Gupta, he has hit upon a thing which we cannot ignore, at least until it's finished.

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