The Worship of Dongs

From Plastic Tub

A dong, while sometimes symbolically represented by a hot dog, is not usually something that is, in the strictest sense, eaten. As Freud is alleged to have said on t-shirts everywhere: "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

But is it?

Bashy Gupta, in his many diatribes, frequently directed towards Poob Culture and Auto-Colonialism, has said that "....the worship of dongs finds its apex in American Poobism, wherein the hot dog is inexorably linked with the national sport of baseball. This collective devouring of "Franks"--note the male name--is one of the most flagrant displays of Auto-Colonialism in the US of A: watch as the mindless hordes stuff themselves with trash meat and beer; as they grunt, spit, shit, and cheer, Uncle Sam is at their homes having sex with their wives. Ha! The worship of dongs may have given us a better toaster, but see therein the irony? Wheat bread is plentiful and ready; why go through all the rigamarole of making white bread brown? Wasted time. Jealousy. The Eiffel Tower of food. All because of a deep-seated penile inferiority complex."

Needless to say, many other scholars stridently disagree with this assessment.

See Also


In Filipino bell cults, different sects are known to engage in bloody and frequently murderous rumbles over the onomatopoeia which should be used to represent the sound of a ringing bell: "Bong!" or "Dong!"