From Plastic Tub

Goats are extremely intelligent creatures, capable of manipulating small gadgets and tools.
Goats are extremely intelligent creatures, capable of manipulating small gadgets and tools.
goat n. 1. Multipurpose omnivore. 2. Ancient symbol of Lasciviousness, or Lust. 3. AA totem animal (see Extrapolation, below). 4. Tenth sign on the O'Donnely Zodiac Placemats. 5. Alternately symbolic of both gluttony and aspiration.


Much of today's enthusiasm for the Goat can be attributed to the ongoing celebration of the numerous enthusiasts of the Blackmore Freehold and surrounding pastures. Husbandary expert/electric guitarist Ritchie Blackmore founded the Freehold in 1975 after departing the sucessful music outfit Deep Purple. He attributes his early fascination with goats to a long weekend spent with Jimmy Page at the (former Alister Crowley estate) Boleskine House. Although the Estate was rumoured to be haunted and the owners assured occultists, Ritchie claims that it was a "scruffy young kid named Elijah that enamored him so."

Non Canonical Text

". . . of the many fortitudes that providence has bestowed upon us his lowly creation is the unkind mirror of nature's participants which beguile a beard of goat a lion's mane and discomfort his environs with crag, root and weed". - Clemetus Gildenhonour's Canaanitic Demigods of the Lower Abrahammatic Deltas.

Gildenhonour's resplendent pronunciamento of everything Capra may well fair as the penultimate screed on this topic. Although long out of print, the edition arrives on the occasional literary auction block and commands a stratospheric ransom. Philanues Heliophanes (in his final treatise on the influence of the pre-Bacchic cults The Vine and Vice) described the CDOTLAD as the quintessental document to explain the zietgiest and regress of the he-goat during the Pre-Hellenic epoch.

"...Morris, you old goat..." - letter from President Jefferson to Guvernor Morris, upon learning that Sally Hemmings was pregnant.

The O'Donnely Zodiac Placemats

What's your sign?

See Also

Steven Vogeler's Fun Facts ®

Fun Facts About Goats

Goats N' Stuff

Ahmed Capra's last name means goat.

Goats provide mohair, meat and milk, but pigs still have half-hour long orgasms.

The House of Bacchus made the goat-skin famous from Thebes to Toledo.

Goats And Religion

Muslims and Jews have nifty goat stories, too.

Want to live in high altitudes with little vegetation in order to appease The Corn God? Try goats! They got mohair, meat and milk -- and it's not as timewasting as sacrificing a pig.

Goats Aren't Evil

Goats make excellent lawnmowers and they're more fearsome to Christians than dogs!

They have mohair, meat and milk.

Yom Kippur is about scape-goats and shit.