From Plastic Tub

Choco-Envy was coined by Dr. Peter Von Fondle is his largely ignored study of American youth-culture, Out By The Wood Shed: A Study in Puti-Core Reversalism. Fondle examined the lifestyle of four children from the Midwestern town of Silonon, Kansas, and elaborated a complex treatise revolving around their use of mediated entertainment, translation devices and "hyper-sexual grimacing, the untoward bending of limbs and a striking predisposition for shapeless homunculi, robots and monsters of all variety." Because his control group was so small and his conclusions so inane, the research was dismissed by most academics out of hand and in fact nearly cost Fondle his teaching position.

Some of his theories were later vindicated, however, when an entirely separate group of young people founded a Choco Cult some years later in San Narciso, California. The Poekemon, or "pocket-monster phenomeon," is generally considered to be the mass realization of Von Fondle's theory. Kimmler: "Poekemon [sic] is choco-envy at its most brazen; laden with sexual overtones, it speaks directly of masturbation as a utilitarian brandishing mechanism." Meerschaum: "Kimmler is a fool; Pokemon is an idealized transitional object, properly translated from pillow or doll to an emitted light duplicate; Plato's cave and all that."

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