Labyrinth

Usage

...toomed entanglements, walled, mine eyes bereft..

Extrapolation

TerraWee briefly sported an elaborate labyrinth named Saturn. Its concentric rings of shrubbery circled a deep sinkhole, and Watchtowers orbited the outskirts. Art Doll pumped the sinkhole full of pancake batter, flash-fried the surface, and slathered it with gallons of butter.¹  Doll had intended to raise funds by selling off chunks of pancake at TerraWee's Solar Bakery, but an early winter storm turned his giant flapjack into an ice-skating rink. The unflappable Doll simply took it as support for his pancake interruptus theory.

Doll later published a treatise on the history and proper usage of the labyrinth. From the introduction:

Ancient labyrinths dot the globe from the arctic to the Mediterranean. Unlike the maze, whose object is to befuddle those going from Point A to Point B, the highly-stylized labyrinth loops one to the core and back out the same path. Labyrinths have long served as physical manifestations of metaphorical journeys wherein one returns from tribulations (or wanderings), bettered. Similar devices include Mt. Fuji, Dante's Inferno, beanstalks, and the Bath-Marie. Like the Bath-Marie, a labyrinth draws the impure into a central chamber, removes impurities, and expels the purified agent while containing the baser stuff.

The most famous labyrinth stems from gnostic Minoan legends. Daedalus fathered the labyrinth as a boneyards for the minotaur and placed his son Icarus inside. Icarus crept darkly through the hunimal tomb before leaping out in angelic ascension, ditching his burdensome Father. Of course the gods casually swat him back to earth, his journey perhaps more transhumance than transhuman or alchemic.² 

Birth itself apes this process: a sperm wriggling through feminal channels to the womb, joined to an egg (its halfness lost), expelled some nine months later -- now somehow greater than its original form, more than the slimy stuff shot forth by the Father into the void. Just ask Oedipus. Oedipus, like Daedalus before him, placed his son inside a labyrinth of his own making. Will the lesson ever be learned? Fathers beware -- your children are unlikely to forgive their creation.

Doll, it should be noted, had no officially recognized off-spring,³  though he often refered to the astromical observatories in his watchtowers as "my babies".

Notes

Note 1:   According to Doll, "Sinkholes are manifest evidence of Donut Earth ... that thin crust collapsing to yield the hollow innard -- why, it's only natural to fill such holes with batter. Only a damn fool would leave an unattended grotto laying about his land. That's just asking for a bunch of Gnomes to come make themselves at home."

Note 2:  This passage was quoted by Dr. "Alamo" Jane Jenkins the curiously non-autobiographical Notes on Self. She went to quote an unreferenced poem: "Ah but that brief moment of flight," crooned the fallen angel in phoenix-like recollection."

Note 3:  We need not note that rumors, of course, abound.

See Also

• Death
• Gnostic Materialism
• Homunculus
• Ouroboros
• Procreation Myths

Desiderata

Labyrinth and labia share etymological roots, stemming back to a Latin word for "lip".