Hand Pants

From Plastic Tub

hand pants q. 1. A covering devised of flax, designed primarily to secure the fingers -- at least in so much as they can collectively be referred to as a hand; euph. pants for hands. 2. A masturbatory manoeuvre perfected in Victorian England and lately trumpeted by Steven Adkins; though lately his fame cast a largely conservative shadlow, manifests nonetheless in sprangled star-pants, diffuse entirely, consumed with a vapor --- fuming mad, perhaps, ever-conncetrated, crossing immense and materials fingers . . .

Desiderata

Alfred Bester was known to sport a sequined glove at AA parties.

Guvernor Morris, tramautized by the death of a family friend in a vicious duel, developed a severe glove phobia. Having seen said friend slapped across the face with a black glove by a masked challenger demanding "satisfaction," he developed in his child's mind the idea that it was the glove which killed his friend. In his sonnets, especially On this stuff called Poop, gloves are Associated with Death and masks become "fingerless face gloves".

The Hand Pants were a short-lived Beta Chimp band comprised of the original Tingles.