O'Donnely Zodiac Placemats
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| {{Zodiac}} | {{Zodiac}} | ||
| '''[[Nut]]''':3rd sign | '''[[Nut]]''':3rd sign | ||
| - | *Like a testicle in a scrotum or a walnut in its shell, those born under the sign of the Nut are wrapped in a protective psychological barrier. Inside their shell, they operate alone, isolated from the common and the ordinary. In short, their nuts, kookoo. On the other hand, their fertile imaginations will blossom, grow, and reproduce if the conditions are right. | + | *Like a testicle in a scrotum or a walnut in its shell, those born under the sign of the Nut are wrapped in a protective psychological barrier. Inside their shell, they operate alone, isolated from the common and the ordinary. In short, they're nuts, kookoo. On the other hand, their fertile imaginations will blossom, grow, and reproduce if the conditions are right. |
| *Birth: May 3. | *Birth: May 3. | ||
Revision as of 20:51, 21 Apr 2005
The O'Donnely Zodiac Placemats were a bizarre promotion for the O'Donnely's Ribhouse and Honkytonk, developed by Patter O'Donnely, son of Ryan O'Donnely. The placemats aped his father's O'Donnely Brand Paper Place Mats.
The rumors of occult links and references are largely unsubstantiated. The more mundane truth is that Patter hired blindingly drunk AA historians David Payne and Steven Vogeler to design his newest restaurant promotion. Having signed their contracts while drunk, Payne and Vogeler proceeded to work drunk. Their vulgar creations would have led to swift arrests, had the astute Patter not suddenly turned his chain adult.
The O'Donnely Zodiac Placemats formally classifies people by birth signs for the purposes of description, prediction, and giving advice. Each of the signs was accompanied by a series of Fun Fact cards which can be found by following the links below.
The signs of the O'Donnely Zodiac are:
 What's your sign? |
Nut:3rd sign
- Like a testicle in a scrotum or a walnut in its shell, those born under the sign of the Nut are wrapped in a protective psychological barrier. Inside their shell, they operate alone, isolated from the common and the ordinary. In short, they're nuts, kookoo. On the other hand, their fertile imaginations will blossom, grow, and reproduce if the conditions are right.
- Birth: May 3.
Goat: 10th sign
- Lavicious, bearded, clever, and drunk: Goats are not to be fucked with.
- Birth: 7th day of the 7th month of the 7th year. Usually in a log cabin under a full moon with a pissed off dad & a jug o' moonshine.
Stinking Weed: 11th sign
- Both earthy and vaporous, Weeds stink when fired up; nonetheless, smoke 'em if you've got 'em.
- Birth: Yes.
Pig: 12th sign
- Pigs keep it real; sex + food = 1 happy Pig.
- Birth: The digits of the year create a prime when summed.
