Ritual shoplifting
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Revision as of 05:41, 23 Sep 2004 Sven (Talk | contribs) buncha crap -- kickin' the collab bitch! Go to next diff → |
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| - | '''Ritual Shoplifing''' ''rn.'' '''1.)''' The clandestine extraction of material goods, usually items seen as particularly representative of [[Poob|Pooban]] grotesquerie. The items five-fingered from vendors under this most secret of circumstances served to elucidate reactionary political or philosophical protestations. '''2.)''' Slang phrase used to describe date-rape among sorority cows and poetical He-Men. | + | '''Ritual Shoplifing''' ''rn.'' '''1.)''' The clandestine extraction of material goods, usually items seen as particularly representative of [[Poob|Pooban]] grotesquerie or otherwise considered bothersome. The items thus five-fingered from vendors under this most secret of circumstances served to elucidate reactionary [[AA]] political or philosophical protestations. '''2.)''' Slang phrase used to describe date-rape among sorority cows and poetical He-Men. |
| == Extrapolation == | == Extrapolation == | ||
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| Although not as extreme as [[Ritual Murder]] Ritual shoplifting is employed by many differant radical groups for many differant purposes. [[The League of Gnomes]] for instance , have an initiaton rite involving the shoplifting of a broom, three lobsters, two one pound bags each of brown and white sugar, and a dozen french vanilla flavored tea-lites. | Although not as extreme as [[Ritual Murder]] Ritual shoplifting is employed by many differant radical groups for many differant purposes. [[The League of Gnomes]] for instance , have an initiaton rite involving the shoplifting of a broom, three lobsters, two one pound bags each of brown and white sugar, and a dozen french vanilla flavored tea-lites. | ||
| - | When [[Easton W. Wunderkidd]] was arrested at the tender age of seven for shoplifting a copy of the New York Times Book Review he was quoted on record telling both the mayor and the chief of police that he did so as an act of utmost rebellion against the existential plight that his hometown refused to face or was not smart enough to recognize and also for the incredible statement he could make to the universe concerning the fact that he was finished with all the religion and god stuff and was even prepared to laugh in the face of Karma and to prove it all that was why he has shoplifted the famous book review (and also because it had a new essay by Gore Vidal). | + | '''Dreaming Thievery''' |
| - | Although [[Mazzistow Carrington]] loved the idea and the bounties of Ritual shoplifting, he never participated in the fear that his grandmother would find out. He confessed to [[Stimso Adid]] one evening that he feared nothing more than the wrath of his grandmother, and that the fear of letting her down was the true impetus of his industrious output and also a good deal of the reason he was so good with the ladies. Tha t and that he was black. And could cook. | + | When [[Easton W. Wunderkidd]] was arrested at the tender age of seven for boosting the New York Times Book Review. He was quoted, rather precociously, as telling both the mayor and the chief of police that "I did so as an act of rebellion against the existential plight that my hometown refuses to face or is not smart enough to recognize . . . And also I have to say to the universe, concerning only the facts at my disposal, that I am through with religion and all that [[God]] stuff. I am prepared, gentlemen, to laugh in face of Karma. Oh, and also, I wanted to check out the new Vidal piece." |
| - | In her later years [[Verna Cable}} could conceal a mighty brunch beneath her Chanel raincoat and often suprised her many hosts with huge dining masterpieces as if out of nowhere. [[Wilhemina Forkes]] joined the club one crazy summer when she shoplifted two cantaloupe from a grocery store wearing a very small bikini to please a visting poet. | + | |
| + | Wunderkidd later told this story endlessly, regaling his friends with a significantly "sexed-up" version where he arm-wrestled a gorilla and incsribed an elaborate refutation of Zionism on the walls of his holding cell. | ||
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| + | '''Deep Sleep''' | ||
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| + | Although [[Mazzistow Carrington]] could appreciate the idea and the bounties of Ritual Shoplifting, he did not participated for fear his grandmother would find out; he confessed as much to [[Stimso Adid]], explaining that he feared nothing more than the wrath of this most overbearing of matriarchs -- the fear of letting her down, Adid extrapolated half-heartedly, could possibly be the true impetus of Carrington's massive literary output. It could also be the of the reason he was so good with the ladies. That and or the fact he was black. And could cook. | ||
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| + | '''Supper In the Pyrenees''' | ||
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| + | In her later years [[Verna Cable}} could conceal a mighty brunch beneath her Chanel raincoat and often suprised her many hosts with huge culinary masterpieces as if from thin air. She attributed this skill from a lifetime of Ritual Shoplifting, where she had learned to contort her body into the formation of a kind of storage bin in her abdomen into which could be stuffed boatloads of Pooban consumibles. | ||
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| + | '''Exit Stage Center''' | ||
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| + | [[Wilhemina Forkes]] engaged in the Ritual one crazy summer when, costumed in nothing more than a bikini, she lifted two cantaloupe from a grocery store. [[Alexandre Dacusse|Ducasse]], who was witness to the event, described it as "profoundly inspiring." | ||
Revision as of 05:41, 23 Sep 2004
Ritual Shoplifing rn. 1.) The clandestine extraction of material goods, usually items seen as particularly representative of Pooban grotesquerie or otherwise considered bothersome. The items thus five-fingered from vendors under this most secret of circumstances served to elucidate reactionary AA political or philosophical protestations. 2.) Slang phrase used to describe date-rape among sorority cows and poetical He-Men.
Extrapolation
The taking of random items was used for objectomancy and voodoo purposes but was used predominantly as key magical source for found-object altars similar to the one found in the flophouse room Stimes Addisson shared with a couple of large rodents and the occasional Mazzistow Carrington(often with gorgeous white women who contrasted with the ghetto environs of the flophouse decor).
Although not as extreme as Ritual Murder Ritual shoplifting is employed by many differant radical groups for many differant purposes. The League of Gnomes for instance , have an initiaton rite involving the shoplifting of a broom, three lobsters, two one pound bags each of brown and white sugar, and a dozen french vanilla flavored tea-lites.
Dreaming Thievery
When Easton W. Wunderkidd was arrested at the tender age of seven for boosting the New York Times Book Review. He was quoted, rather precociously, as telling both the mayor and the chief of police that "I did so as an act of rebellion against the existential plight that my hometown refuses to face or is not smart enough to recognize . . . And also I have to say to the universe, concerning only the facts at my disposal, that I am through with religion and all that God stuff. I am prepared, gentlemen, to laugh in face of Karma. Oh, and also, I wanted to check out the new Vidal piece."
Wunderkidd later told this story endlessly, regaling his friends with a significantly "sexed-up" version where he arm-wrestled a gorilla and incsribed an elaborate refutation of Zionism on the walls of his holding cell.
Deep Sleep
Although Mazzistow Carrington could appreciate the idea and the bounties of Ritual Shoplifting, he did not participated for fear his grandmother would find out; he confessed as much to Stimso Adid, explaining that he feared nothing more than the wrath of this most overbearing of matriarchs -- the fear of letting her down, Adid extrapolated half-heartedly, could possibly be the true impetus of Carrington's massive literary output. It could also be the of the reason he was so good with the ladies. That and or the fact he was black. And could cook.
Supper In the Pyrenees
In her later years [[Verna Cable}} could conceal a mighty brunch beneath her Chanel raincoat and often suprised her many hosts with huge culinary masterpieces as if from thin air. She attributed this skill from a lifetime of Ritual Shoplifting, where she had learned to contort her body into the formation of a kind of storage bin in her abdomen into which could be stuffed boatloads of Pooban consumibles.
Exit Stage Center
Wilhemina Forkes engaged in the Ritual one crazy summer when, costumed in nothing more than a bikini, she lifted two cantaloupe from a grocery store. Ducasse, who was witness to the event, described it as "profoundly inspiring."
