Ostrich

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Ostrich n. 1. A comical and flightless bird originating in Africa, reaching a height of up to 2.5 metres and capable of running up to 65 km/h, it is farmed all over the world. 2. A phantom of liberty. 3. Gnome parlance for a Liberal.

Desiderata

The Ostrich's "official" name, Struthio camelus, means "sparrow camel."
pig n. 1. Intelligent and succulent omnivore; domesticated swine. 2. Yo mama.

Usage


"Eat-in? More like a fucking facist pig-out."

– an angry Addisson, in an apparent misunderstanding of the Massive Dinner Send-Back, 1955.

"What you talkin' 'bout, Wilbur?"

- Charlotte, while spinning her web.

Extrapolation


Common usage and slang is generally extrapolated from the pig defined as a dirty animal and a tasty treat. A pig skin, for example, is tasty. A pig-in-a-blanket, is not what you want to wake up next to.

The AA totem pig was famously aped by William Golding in Lord of the Flies; it's origin, however, is unclear. Gnome psy-ops tried to link it to claims of Jew-baiting, but this is doubtful.

Non Canonical Text


Civilization owes a curiously underappreciated debt to the pig. The domestication of wild boar seems to go hand-in-hand with the transition from hunting and gathering societies to more sedentary agricultural communities.

Of particular note to Western Civilization is the ancient Euro-Aegean custom of offering pigs to the Mother-goddess, who took the form of Demeter to the Greeks.

The sacrificial pig of the pre-Christian initiation ceremonies of the Eleusinian Mysteries was only a step away from the sacrifical lamb of Christian mythology.

See Also



Yo Mama.
Enlarge
Yo Mama.

Desiderata


Raw mountain oysters smell remarkably like truffles.

Boars ejaculate a pint of semen during half-hour long orgasms.

A boar with no testicles is called a barrow.

See Also