La Ligue d'Agenda de la Pinque

From Plastic Tub

Suspected masterminds behind such culture infamy as The August Agenda and The Pink Fright. Rumoured to be the source for most of 16th-Century Europe's Putti-Core literature. Apochrypha credits La Ligue d'Agenda de la Pinque with the invention of the really long cigarette holder.

The League has recently been rejuvenated in Catholic Europe and Egypt, but now their purposes are unknown. It is almost certain that they are not even gay, but are engaging in an an elaborate Psy-op for an unseen hand.

Founded in 1599 by a Dutchman living in Avignon, who went by the dubious name of Johann Von Smirkenweld, the League was chartered and listed as being headquartered in the Rue St. Cyprien. The League participated in civic life, bearing statues in seasonal religious processions, yet no actual details of its activities are recorded. In 1613 an argument ensued and they were banned from public activity. Popular, dare one say lax scholarship, has traditionally taken at face value the charges levied against it by the Catholic Church; namely, that the League intended to destroy the structure of European Civilization through a complex program of propaganda aimed at raising mass hysteria, carefully selected perverse rites aimed at undermining all known thought at certain critical junctures and prankish acts aimed at de-stabilizing the most mundane details of quotidian life.

In 1667 agroup calling itself La Ligue du Masque Cancéreux appeared to split from "the Pink," and fighting between the two factions flared up on and off until they reconciled in the early 1700's. Although the Mask seems to have rejuvented briefly between 1775 and 1812 before sleeping again until a hotly-debated reappearance after the Second World War, the Pink seemed to slip beneath the surface of history entirely until the late 1990's.

In the morass of conflicting testimonies the truth has been so clouded as to have become illegible. In 1850 certain Americans, specifically John Morris of Philadelphia and Franklin Slippers of Boston, began asserting that the League was wildly misunderstood. A calumny had been cast. The League had a more noble purpose. Their agitations raised many an eyebrow in occult circles of the time, but the pebble sank: the ripples subsided. Or had they?

A recently as 1999, propaganda of an inordinately complex nature began to surface in Cairo, Milan, Avignon and Rotterdam. It proclaimed an unbroken link to the original League, citing specific details of history known only to the most diligent of historians. The documents reaffirm an affinity with the once-rebellious Ligue du Masque Cancéreux and emnity towards all forms of Molech and Mormo worship. If it be a hoax, it is a well-planned hoax indeed; so far, this new League, if new at all, has been implicated in several incidents, including the recent theft (2003) of the prime material for the construction of the golem Goom from the Prague Museum of the Magnificent Jew.

Historians doubt the current manifestation has hold of an unbroken thread to the past, yet credible arguments have been made to the contrary. As of February, 2004, Interpol has decided to launch a full-scale investigation in response to a Dakota Meeting Room found in Berlin, which in addition to several sticks of dynamite, was found League propaganda and alledgedly, contact information for Stimes Addisson.

Organizational Structure

A governing council of 13, imaginatively known as the Council of 12 + 1, directs the league's activities from its inconspicuous headquarters in Avignon, France.

There are two other Councils of an unknown number in Padua, Italy and Sevilla, Spain. The members are no longer corrupted monks, but come from a variety of professions. For some reason, ex-firemen seem to dominate their ranks.


No known group publications, though individual members have written various accounts of the League, ranging from exultant praise to excoriating condemnation.

Non-Canonical Text

One time secret order of 13 monks converted en masse to Homosexuality at the sight of a muskrat sodomizing a squirrel (thus the coat of arms).

See Also