Paolo Grignotti

From Plastic Tub

Born 1760, Padua, Died -- ? He loses the way in a dark wood and thus fails to arrive. He is a turtle's perfect egg and is given a high-chair at the kiddie-table.

Italian composer famous for his comic operas. He is thought to have been a member of La Ligue du Masque Cancéreux. Direct descendent of Giovanni da Verrazano through the bastard son of Parisian maid.

Along with Pietri Biberoni, his librettist, he produced 27 works played in Rome, Venice, Florence, Vienna, Avignon, Paris, St. Petersburg, Prague, London and Plüntz.

Those Musical Italians

His themes, often bizarre, were said to be coded messages the League used to direct pie-throwings, assassinations and ritual shoplifting.

At the age of 55 he disappeared into the wilderness, never to be heard of again. Rumors occasionally surfaced that he had been seen in Transylvania, the Ukraine or the Levant, but these were never adequately substantiated. He left a note to his wife Diamanta which asked her not to forget to water the plants. Recent theories that he went to New York City were deemed "groundless" by the Grignottisti society in 1995:

"Having no proof to the contrary, some foolish speculators insist that we can not rule it out. 'Hogwash!' we say. One might as well say that just because one has not seen pigs fly does not mean they cannot. Gringnotti died in Jerusalem." (p. 27, Grignotes '95)
Certain others disagree.

Beware: Syphilis Victims in the Tub

Professor Newton Periwinkle, Arkham University Dept. of History, believes there is ample evidence to conclude that Grignotti made his way to Brooklyn in 1815. Citing a curious source:
"Paul Grinnut, a swarthy fellow with a curious accent, was involved in an incident last night at Bonner and Smitherby Streets. Delicacy prohibits us from detailing the incident here, but we can report that a woman and another foreigner were involved. The other man, a mysterious Mr 'B.' fled the scene. He wore a black cloak and a hideous mask and managed to elude the bailiffs." (Brooklyn Eagle, May 13th, 1819.)

Periwinkle concludes that the article alludes to Grignotti and Biberoni, who were known to be experiencing problems around the time of the former's disappearance. Periwinkle speculates this arose from some internal strife within La Ligue du Masque Cancéreux.

Known Works

  • The Pancakes of Pan (1780)
  • Pubinella (1782)
  • The League of the Spangl'd Bodice (1786)
  • Buggeroni, a.k.a. Buggerino (1789)
  • The King's Hat (1792)
  • Meat from the Fountain (1794)
  • The Sharper's Tale (1796)
  • A Sausage Became Her (1797)
Paolo Grignotti, pictured in a ritual blindfold of his own device.
Paolo Grignotti, pictured in a ritual blindfold of his own device.


Grignotti was known to celebrate the Dog Days with firecrackers, pranks, orgies and fishing.