Madame Beauregard

From Plastic Tub

She was the handmaiden of the Lady Aurore du Nichon. With this randy pair of the demi-monde of the lower French aristocracy, Guvernor Morris whiled away many an hour engaged in licentious pursuits, dedicating Sonnet 13 of On this stuff called Poop to "this pair of Sapphic nymphs."

In addition to bedding with several other Founding Fathers, Beauregard herself was a poet of no small merit. Unfortunately she lost her head during the Thermidorean reaction and was dumped unceremoniously into a mass grave which, in sweet revenge, was the source of a vicious Typhus outbreak in the Paris suburb of Coq-sur-Seine.

Known Works


Beauregard was illiterate in six languages, but she compensated with a terrific memory and magnificant tits.

It is unlikely that Beauregard coined the phrase "ETAOIN SHRDLU", but one must concede the possibility.