Madame Beauregard

She was the handmaiden of the Lady d'Auvergne. With this randy pair of the demi-monde of the lower French aristocracy, Guvernor Morris whiled away many an hour engaged in licentious pursuits, dedicating Sonnet 13 of On this stuff called Poop to "this pair of Sapphic nymphs."

In addition to bedding with several other Founding Fathers, Beauregard herself was a poet of no small merit. Unfortunately she lost her head during the Thermidorean reaction and was dumped unceremoniously into a mass grave which, in sweet revenge, was the source of a vicious Typhus outbreak in the Paris suburb of Coq-sur-Seine.

Known Works

• We Are the Reward
• We Share the Reward

Desiderata

Beauregard was illiterate in six languages, but compensated with a terrific memory.

It is unlikely that Beauregard coining the phrase "ETAOIN SHRDLU", but one must concede the possibility.