Stinking Weed
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| - | '''Stinking Weed''' ''(n. sometimes y.)'' '''1.''' That which is now known as tobacco. '''2.''' Any of a number of [[Pooban]] deceptions. '''3.''' A known sacrament for the consistently nervous. '''4.''' Eleven sign on the [[O'Donnely Zodiac Placemats]]. '''5.''' Closest living relative to the common ancestor of the caffienoids. '''''SYN''''' - sot, cut, leaf, poke. | + | '''Stinking Weed''' ''(n. sometimes y.)'' '''1.''' That which is now known as tobacco. '''2.''' Any of a number of [[Pooban]] deceptions. '''3.''' A known sacrament for the consistently nervous. '''4.''' Eleven sign on the [[O'Donnely Zodiac Placemats]]. '''5.''' Closest living relative to the common ancestor of the caffienoids; ''syn.'' - sot, cut, leaf, poke. |
| == Usage == | == Usage == | ||
Revision as of 02:11, 26 Apr 2005
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Stinking Weed (n. sometimes y.) 1. That which is now known as tobacco. 2. Any of a number of Pooban deceptions. 3. A known sacrament for the consistently nervous. 4. Eleven sign on the O'Donnely Zodiac Placemats. 5. Closest living relative to the common ancestor of the caffienoids; syn. - sot, cut, leaf, poke. UsageDamn that stinking weed... It was the death of my poor Dewey.
ExtrapolationDid we invent the stinking weed, or did the stinking weed invent us?
Ah, but the sot doth impregnate a fertile mind like vapor,
The stinking weed is indigenous to the New World. During Columbus’ first New World Voyage, Rodrigo de Jerez, a sailor on the Santa Maria, became the first European smoker; he carried the habit back to Spain and was summarily arrested by the Holy Inquisition after frightening a priest by breathing fire. After this initial scare, the Europeans went ape-shit for the stuff. It quickly escalated in cost, until, pound-for-pound, it was worth much more than gold. Lust for sot and native pootang drove men to the New World, fueling colonization and the development of slavery. Pocahontas rubb'd my backe slick with the grease of a beare.
Several centuries rolled by. The fortunes of kingdoms waned and ebbed. Shakespeare died, but England was sitting pretty, raking in Kapital from the Tobacco Import and Export Taxes. The Founding Fathers, egged on by Guvernor Morris, revolted, declaring, "No taxation without representation." A new era dawned...
See Also |
Desiderata
Jorge Suarez was afraid of Tobacco. Steven Vogeler has often claimed that if cigarettes were not around, he would invent them. Nicotine can be delivered through every human orifice, except the ear-hole: The Mouth
The Nostrils
The Anus
Sweat Pores
Piss Hole
Eyes
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