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pantaloon(s), pants, trousers, et al. n. 1. The physical apparatus of evocation; or the a priori assumption of a nonexistence. 2. The apparel of truth as filtered thru the apparitions of Poob Culture, resulting in the complete rejection of such. 3. The superficial obsession of capitalist vision. 4. Dependent on size, an absurdity meant to convey the solitary nature of the ego in a flurry of delicious physical transcendence; often used in the plural and as such gains a revolutionary character.


"Lately, there has been chatter concerning my dress, particularly, my pants -- what are they made of? What is their date and place of manufacture? Do they sing, dance, spark? Etc. There are even those who ask if I truly own my pants at all. As if I would steal someone's pants for my own use? It's absurd. But let me straighten everyone out here and now. I have never worn tiny pants. Will never wear tiny pants. In point of fact, I think all of this is Adid's doing -- he was a lunatic when it came to pants. Me? I couldn't care one way or the other." -- from An Interview With Stimes Addisson, in the periodical Piebald, no. 3, vol. 1.

"I ask you, can there be a more incredible invention? The world stands in prim admiration before the pantaloons -- the smaller the better." -- from Sketches of My Face, by Alexandre Dacusse.

"I can't believe this guy. I let him borrow my pants all the time. Nice ones, too." -- comment made by Yon Milhaus, when asked by a reported how he felt about recent comments made about his character by Nevid Kessar.

"It was generally understood in the circles within which they travelled that the word pants was a symbolic representation of the issues the Accidentalists felt were responsible for the ideological schism between Adid and Addisson." -- from The A.A. and the A.A., What Gives?, broadside distributed by the Tampa AA Group, the Analytical Anticipants, in 1963.