Hyram Solomon Addisson

From Plastic Tub

A Glove, Thrown

A staunch materialist, Harold was born on July 14, 1887, arriving after a notably extended labor -- so extended in fact, his mother emerged completely rippling with muscle. And then he died in Honduras, presumably in 1932 or 1933: it is the gap between these two events upon which our research will focus.

A Crazy Eyed Bull-Horn

His body was hacked to pieces, burned and dispersed after his short-lived attempt to build a microstate within what is now Honduras. The Republic of Vendorra, reflected Addisson's obsession with sausage-making and a daring cuts for pants.

Addisson was born on a farm located in Brown County, Ohio. As a young man, he was sent by his parents to boarding school near Akron. At the age of 17 he applied and was accepted to Harvard University, where he studied political science. In 1917 joined the US Army, where he served as a supply officer to doughboys. Once, as the story goes, he and his driver got lost in the fog near the front and strayed into German lines. They were surrounded and taken under guard. When the Germans discovered nothing but bratwurst in the van, they were delighted and hauled it off, leaving Addisson impressed with the miraculous qualities of sausages. The impression was not lost when later, the driver was blown apart after mocking Addisson's conversion.

After the war, Addison settled down in Akron and courted a local young socialite by the name of Elma Grant. Adolphus Grant set the young lad up as a travelling meat salesman, a job at which he excelled. By 1920 he had a young son he called Stimes after his grandmother's ancestor Stimes Whelan, an Irish foot soldier in the Revolution who ended up in the service of Guvernor Morris and associating with Italian composers.

When Addisson was 30, he had a sausage vison in which he was commanded to go south and form his ill-fated republic. He walked out on Elma and young Stimes and was never heard from again, at least until a cache of unsent letters was discovered in a duffel bag he had shipped from his headquarters.

Among his retinue, also presumed killed with Addisson, was the great-grandfather of Koose Muniswamy Veerappan.


The elder Addisson, ever mysterious, slept with what he called a "onieric facilitator" -- a contraption composed of a wheedling amount of gears, wire-form gew-gaws and steam vents.