El Parqiz

From Plastic Tub

1524-1625, Moorish pragmatist and secret dreidl spinner. An aardvark at the ant-hill of Autonomic Embolismology. Bedeviled by a one-armed woman. Vertiginous.

Primary author of the Doctrine of Doing, he attracted a large group of followers among dissaffected La Ligue d'Agenda de la Pinque associates, though some anecdotal evidence indicates this was a ruse by said associates to escape persecution. His detracters claimed that while his theories were simple and all-inclusive, they were, in the words of El Benq, "not the product of an Autonomically Embolised brain!"

Over the last 30 years of his painfully long life, El Paqiz became obsessed with the dreidl. In several early experiments with a twice-mansized dreidl he developed the theory that the Earth was spinning, not the dreidl. Followers at the time describe him leaning as if into a stiff wind, his hair and robes flapping violently about him. He later became convinced that with a massy enough dreidl, and the right spin, he could effectively counteract the earth's rotation. El Paqiz bankrupted himself designing and building a massive two-story dreidl that on first activation, spun out of control and, after impaling him, continued to carve a swath of destruction through Alacante before tipping into the ocean. Rumors point to sabotage by the Autonomic Embolists.


Parquiz, though stout and muscular enough for wrestling, avoided the sport assiduously.