Albert Kook

Arab-American, 1732-1783. Sunni Mystic and Brooklyn Drug Dealer, circa 1764. He forgot to show up, but if he had, he would have floated in, surely. He is, too, a pig -- but a dapper one. He receives a pair of rusting tweezers in a compact.

A favorite of the latter day Clampers, despite himself. Described by contemporaries as "a fellow of finest breeding, always suspiciously nice to your mother." -- as extrapolated by Stan Lee (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stan_Lee) in his controversial 1962 play, On Human Sass.

Supplier of necessary items of leisure for Guvernor Morris and young gang member A.W. Slippers. His gang included, most prominently, Copernicus Trowbridge.

Not much is known about Kook except that he distributed the opium supplied to him by Trowbridge. He is known to have been a Patriot, but never let a good cause get in the way of business. He always burned the British and dealt with them primarily as a way of "shitting in the soup," as he is quoted as saying by Thomas Jefferson. His contacts were extensive and high; because of his discretion, however, he remains a shadowy unknowable figure. Stimes Addisson was a Kook-o-phile, mainly because of the connection with his ancestor, on his mother's side, but he never turned up anything more than a short reference in a letter and an obituary. Kook died of consumption in Rhode Island.

He was a very dark fellow, swarthy, and was once accused of being a negro. Although he himself seems to have had no problem with African-Americans, either in his dealings with Freedmen or Slaves (which he neither kept not dealt in), Kook took offense at the remark and took a man's nose off with his sabre in a surprisingly hard-fought duel. His opponent, Wynthrop Dunlop, gentlemen, conceded defeat and renounced his claim publicly. Kook was in fact a tall, pinched-face fellow with a long knot of curly black hair, but he is said to have been taken for a Greek. Fact is, he was born in Smyrna by Lebanese Christians who had fled after their Egyptian interests had been repeatly sacked by Corsairs.

Kook became one of many sailors impressed into the Royal Navy about 1845, where he learned seamanship with some of the best if not cruellest Captains. He was a quick study, respected and for this reason, distrusted by is superiors. Although the details are sketchy, Kook seems to have been involved in some angry talk which bordered on the mutinous some time a few years later. Kook was keel-hauled, and infuriated his officers by suriving, barely. He had been sentenced, but spared.

Kook jumped ship one night in Boston, which he despised. He made his way to New York and dreamed of going back to his homeland. But he made some unexpected friends. The first of these was Copernicus Trowbridge, a crazy Scottish pilot that could take a boat anyware.

Known Works

Eyes Closed, Hands Closed, novella.

Desiderata

Young Albert was terrified for years of rounded, smooth objects.