Dr. Martin Savage Pickles

b. 1926 He arrives by Mexican armadillo, hogtied and gagged. Due to his cataracts, he is wisely given a monacle. In the dark he is a wolf but in the morning he is a chicken.

Professor, Lecturer, Editor, Apologist. Accomplished chess player and expert amatuer detective.

Ancient River

Hermann Wilde Essiggurken was born the son of a German bookeeper days before teh end of the First World War. Little Hermann escaped with his family to London where the family lived for a short time. Helga Essiggurken worked for the local chancellors and Hermanns father, Frederick worked in the labs for the English branch of the American company IG Farben. Hermann shared the families obsessions with clinical atmospheres and love of research. His educational performances were exceptional even at the exclusive boyschool he attended were he was the captain of the rugby team and president and founder of the Junior-Detectives Society.

Architecture

The Wilde Essiggurken family returned home from church one morning to find that the Germans had lobbed a V2 on thier simple home. Frederick got the proper paper work and the whole family was transferred to America where they immediatley changed thier name to the wonderfully inventive Savage Pickles. Hermann became Martin and Frederick became a spy. Helga kept her name and her shapely figure and passed the mornigs away working at the local Calvinist church, doing simple office work and occassionally assisting with daycare. Martin entered American highschool ill prepared for the brutish xenophobia of the local teens, especially during the war years, yet quickly gained thier respect after displaying his high tolarance for pain. His years in the scrum had taught him how to use his head as a weapon unbeknownst to the first bully who made fun of his accent. He studied latin and wrote mysteries on the weekends.

Filament

Martin attended several prestigious accademies before being tapped by the American government to work for them in some as director for some yet developed program. The program never actually got off the ground but Pickles did make several important contacts, including several mid level intelligence officers and most importanly, thier bumbling secretary, Peter Fondle. They were dismissed from thier government jobs when thier superiors discovered that they had become drinking buddies with the tendency to mouth off. Pickles returned to teaching and Fondle returned to Harvard. Thier paths diverted for a short time before they found themselves guest speakers at the infamous German School of Re-Design.

Blind Carbon Dating

After stints in Cairo Savage Pickles met Von Fondle for an expedition at Paleolithic galleries in the caves of The Chauvet-Pont-d'Ar. Occultic rumour has it that some sinister ritual may have been played out here but little evidence exists beyond the massive notes they were so fond of taking. It would not be long after thier manifestoes on Paleolithic Psychology were written that Pickles father would be exposed as being a spy, and Dr. Martin Savage Pickles found himself discredited and encouraged to exile, but was eventually given a working visa after living abroad as a guest of the ever elusive Easton W. Wunderkidd, whom he never met the whole time he stayed with him. Vond Fondle took to calling him Doctor Savage which disgusted everyone.

Old, Tired

Professor at the University of Pawtucket's Quantum Ethics Department. With colleague Dr. Peter Von Fondle, he founded The International Council for Regressive Nonaterism in 19--. Known primarily as an "old bastard," his shock of white hair, tied in a loose top-knot, elicits chuckles as he rollerblades across campus to his classroom. Despite his oft comical escapades, he is universally loathed as a vicious reactionary and apologist for eugenics.

He is editor of the journal The Phrenologist's Strop.

Desiderata

His great uncle is Slim Pickles.

Memorized famous speeches and mixed them at will.

collected Nazi-Porn!