Newton Farnell Jameston
From Plastic Tub
Revision as of 00:16, 6 Apr 2005
Lovely and belated Professor of Snack Cake Refurbishing who died tragically in 1999. His revolutionary work resulted in both the DingDing and the "Choco Brand Milk Chocolate Bar."
A towering genius in the field, he followed a kind of gargantuan Bauhaus aesthetic. "Make it long and milky in the north. Give it a stubby (if not stubborn) aspect in the warmer climes. A cocoa wafer in the jungles is dandy. A jumbo-bar of soft rich chocolate in the north is the proper candy. I know I may sound like a terrible rime, but I speak the truth. Speers once proposed to airdrop chocolate bars the size of gold bricks onto Los Angeles. He knew a thing or two. Carcassonne was saved from a siege by the quick thinking of a maiden who catapulted a pig over the city walls. Thinking the city so rich in food that it could disdainfully waste such a precious resource, the attackers quit their cause and picked up their siege engines. The city was saved. And all because of a chocolate pug."
