Marvin Rex Rittenhouse

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-	''Born 1948 Beaumont Texas. Rittenhouse Arrives with a truck full of migrant workers. He is a naked-mole rat. He is not invited. He recieves a firm warning.''	+	[[Category:Personages]]
		+	''Born 1948 in Beaumont, Texas. Rittenhouse arrives with a truck full of migrant workers, each of them carrying a cultural disease. He is a denudified rodent. He's not even invited, however, he gets a stern warning.''
-	Popular Newspaper columnist and Amatuer folklorist.	+	'''First And Ten'''
-	When not announcing high school football games on friday night, Rex Rittenhouse works on his weeekly column for the Odessa Tribune. His column primarily consists of stories related to his quitting smoking (still hasn't) and the birth of his new daughter. Most notable for his collection of Folksy Tales and Texas Humour. Most famous for his involvement in the Farmer Diary Scam. [[The Farmer Diary]]'s were a collection of entries by mythical Farmer [[Mack Calvin]]. Although the collection was soon exposed as a fraud it is still read aloud at many [[Alcoholics Anonymous]] meetings.	+	A popular newspaper columnist, notorious [[O'Donnely]] confidante and amateur folklorist, Rittenhouse spent most of his life as the gristle-voiced announcer of [[Beaumontian]] High School football games -- the height of which was most certainly the memorable 1984 Championship bout between the Beaumont Cougars and the until-then undefeated Illinois Trapper's Association -- who though not players of football, engaged the field in bras, collapsing motor-trunks and a spirit unsullied by the near-hysterical objection of [[the assembled mob]]. He usually appeared with his impeccably outfitted 'Latin' entourage -- described by observers as consisting mostly of hired hands, rough-a-bouts and Mexican sports casters.
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		+	'''Meanwhile'''
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		+	In this same period, his weekly column in the Odessa Tribune was considered responsible for later phases of production, consisting primarily of and endlessly banal re-arrangment of tales concerning his attempts to quit smoking (still hasn't) and the birth of his new daughter.
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		+	'''A Terrific Engagment'''
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		+	Historically pertinent for his alleged discovery of [[The Farmer Diary]], later exposed as a fraud. The collection consisted of blogspot entries by protean American farmer [[Mack Calvin]]. Although the Rittenhouse's 'discovery' was soon illegitimated as a confounding piece of lyrical pranksterism, it is still today read aloud at the start of every [[Alcoholics Anonymous]] meeting.
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		+	== Known Works ==
		+
		+	----
		+	[[Folksy Tales and Texan Humour]]
		+
		+	[[The Backyard Fence]], populist advice column, aimed with unerring accuracy toward "neighbors."

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Current revision

Born 1948 in Beaumont, Texas. Rittenhouse arrives with a truck full of migrant workers, each of them carrying a cultural disease. He is a denudified rodent. He's not even invited, however, he gets a stern warning.

First And Ten

A popular newspaper columnist, notorious O'Donnely confidante and amateur folklorist, Rittenhouse spent most of his life as the gristle-voiced announcer of Beaumontian High School football games -- the height of which was most certainly the memorable 1984 Championship bout between the Beaumont Cougars and the until-then undefeated Illinois Trapper's Association -- who though not players of football, engaged the field in bras, collapsing motor-trunks and a spirit unsullied by the near-hysterical objection of the assembled mob. He usually appeared with his impeccably outfitted 'Latin' entourage -- described by observers as consisting mostly of hired hands, rough-a-bouts and Mexican sports casters.

Meanwhile

In this same period, his weekly column in the Odessa Tribune was considered responsible for later phases of production, consisting primarily of and endlessly banal re-arrangment of tales concerning his attempts to quit smoking (still hasn't) and the birth of his new daughter.

A Terrific Engagment

Historically pertinent for his alleged discovery of The Farmer Diary, later exposed as a fraud. The collection consisted of blogspot entries by protean American farmer Mack Calvin. Although the Rittenhouse's 'discovery' was soon illegitimated as a confounding piece of lyrical pranksterism, it is still today read aloud at the start of every Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

Known Works

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Folksy Tales and Texan Humour

The Backyard Fence, populist advice column, aimed with unerring accuracy toward "neighbors."