O'Donnely Zodiac Placemats

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Revision as of 03:59, 15 Apr 2005

A sub school of Astrology which formally classifies people by birth signs for the purposes of description, prediction, and advising.

The signs of the zodiac are:


Nut:3rd sign

  • Like a testicle in a scrotum or a walnut in its shell, those born under the sign of the Nut are wrapped in a protective psychological barrier. Inside their shell, they operate alone, isolated from the common and the ordinary. In short, their nuts, kookoo. On the other hand, their fertile imaginations will blossom, grow, and reproduce if the conditions are right.
  • Birth: May 3.

Stinking Weed: 7th sign

  • Both earthy and vaporous, Weeds stink when fired up; nonetheless, smoke 'em if you've got 'em.
  • Birth: Yes.

Goat: 10th sign

  • Lavicious, bearded, clever, and drunk: Goats are not to be fucked with.
  • Birth: 7 day of the 7th month of the 7th year. Usually in a log cabin under a full moon with a pissed off dad & a jug o' moonshine.

Pig: 12th sign

  • Pigs keep it real; sex + food = 1 happy Pig.
  • Birth: The digits of the year create a prime when summed.