Minneapolis

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The Lakes District
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The Lakes District

"If an American City could wield a knife -- Minneapolis would stab a guy."

So said William F. Buckley in his famous offhand remark to a darker-than-usual porter. Like Whitman, Minneapolis is many things to many people - even many things unto itself. Even St. Paul (aka Pigs Eye) will tell you that Minneapolis is the:

  • Austere capital of the Great North Woods
  • Inspiration for Superman's Polar Palace
  • Smugly superior antithesis to Tampa
  • The great hoary beard on a wizened Uncle Sam
  • South of Winnipeg, you cold mother fuckers
  • Home to:
    • Prince, Jesse Ventura, & JFK
    • Nice people
    • The Bought Art Movement (BAM)
    • Prince Harry's secret lover
    • Paul Bunyan (or is he from Maine?)
    • Glasspants, Payne, & The Whittier Globe
    • Norwegians, Swedes, Finns, and the best goddamn flapjacks in the world
  • Still crazy, after all these years
Downtown, July 4, 1982
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Downtown, July 4, 1982

See Also