Kevin Statham
From Plastic Tub
| Revision as of 22:33, 25 Sep 2004 Adkins (Talk | contribs) Desiderata ← Go to previous diff |
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| - | Statham is a night-rockin' narcoleptic famous for his ability to vomit forth a multitude at a moment's notice. A copious drinker and taker of pills, he also wrote (writes?) non-[[Associationalist]] short stories. Currently believed to be holed up in his compound somewhere in Central Florida. | + | [[Category:Personages]]__NOTOC__ |
| + | <table width="100%" border="0" align="right" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0"><tr><td width="*" align="left" valign="top"> | ||
| + | ''American. He shows up swinging wildly, his mouth leaking slightly. He is a sandwich of sky, earth and mayo. He receives mustard -- for which he has been asking.'' | ||
| - | Statham was a university acquaintance of [[Steven Adkins]]; having lost touch after graduation, they met by chance two years later in a bar in [[Tampa's]] Ybor City (the much-missed Emerald). | + | A notorious night-rocker, Statham is perhaps most famous for his narcophilic ability to vomit forth a multitude at a moment's notice. A prodigious drinker and taker of pills, he also produces [[Anassociationalist]] short stories. Currently believed to be holed up in his compound somewhere in Central Florida. |
| - | == Desiderata == | + | Statham was a university acquaintance of [[Steven Adkins]]; having lost touch after graduation, they met by chance two years later in a bar in [[Tampa|Tampa's]] Ybor City (the much-missed Emerald). |
| - | ---- | + | Statham is sorely missed among [[AA]] circles. |
| - | : Kevin was once run over by a moving automobile -- and lived! | + | |
| - | : Kevin once balanced a burning Bible on his head for five whole minutes, even as he perilously staggered. | + | == Update == |
| + | |||
| + | After many silent years, the elusive Statham contacted Adkins. His first email, out of the blue, was this: | ||
| + | |||
| + | :"Steve: | ||
| + | :11 or 12 years goes by in a hurry. Glad to hear you are alive. As for me, I have | ||
| + | :found peace and meaning living in service of the Lord. My wife, Wilma, and I | ||
| + | :spend at least 6 months of the year traveling to impoverished countries, | ||
| + | :spreading the gospel. Wilma and i are the proud parents of 3 children. Well, to | ||
| + | :be honest, we are parents of two now. During a particularly grim winter in | ||
| + | :Cambodia, we were forced to eat our youngest. When we aren't on a mission, i | ||
| + | :spend my time peddling bumper stickers. my latest reads: "Jesus Kicks Ass. do | ||
| + | :you really live in France? Reply soon. God told me to skin you alive. kevin." | ||
| + | |||
| + | Being made aware of the Tub, Statham made an entry for the Calendar, which, though not fit for the calendar itself, merits publications here: | ||
| + | |||
| + | :"JANUARY - Sometimes peripheral AA associate K. Statham was rushed to the | ||
| + | :emergency room after an attempt to prove that man can sustain nourishment from | ||
| + | :art alone. Sources say statham was seen eating pages of his prose, until his | ||
| + | :stomach became overly enlarged. After two hours in the operating room, statham's | ||
| + | :stomach was returned to normal size, although his ego remains as bloated as | ||
| + | :ever." | ||
| + | |||
| + | Welcome back, Kevin! | ||
| == Known Works == | == Known Works == | ||
| ---- | ---- | ||
| - | [[Bending Denim]] | + | * [[Bending Denim]] |
| - | + | * [[Chicken Fuckin' Man]] | |
| - | [[Chicken Fuckin' Man]] | + | |
| == See also == | == See also == | ||
| ---- | ---- | ||
| - | [[P-Boy]] | + | *[[P-Boy]] |
| + | |||
| + | </td><td width="180px" align="left" valign="top" bgcolor="#CCCCCC" style="margin: 0 0 1em 1em; background: #E0E0E0; border: 1px #aaa solid; border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 100%;"> | ||
| + | |||
| + | == Desiderata == | ||
| + | |||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | <font style="font-size: 90%"> | ||
| + | ''[[Steven Adkins]] preserved a specimen'' of Statham's ejected sputum, showing it around to pals later as an example of ectoplasm. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''Kevin was once run over'' by a moving automobile -- and lived! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''Kevin once balanced a burning Bible'' on his [[head]] for five whole minutes, even as he perilously staggered. | ||
| + | </font> | ||
| + | </td> | ||
| + | </tr> | ||
| + | </table> | ||
Current revision
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American. He shows up swinging wildly, his mouth leaking slightly. He is a sandwich of sky, earth and mayo. He receives mustard -- for which he has been asking. A notorious night-rocker, Statham is perhaps most famous for his narcophilic ability to vomit forth a multitude at a moment's notice. A prodigious drinker and taker of pills, he also produces Anassociationalist short stories. Currently believed to be holed up in his compound somewhere in Central Florida. Statham was a university acquaintance of Steven Adkins; having lost touch after graduation, they met by chance two years later in a bar in Tampa's Ybor City (the much-missed Emerald). Statham is sorely missed among AA circles. [edit] UpdateAfter many silent years, the elusive Statham contacted Adkins. His first email, out of the blue, was this:
Being made aware of the Tub, Statham made an entry for the Calendar, which, though not fit for the calendar itself, merits publications here:
Welcome back, Kevin! [edit] Known Works[edit] See also |
[edit] DesiderataSteven Adkins preserved a specimen of Statham's ejected sputum, showing it around to pals later as an example of ectoplasm. Kevin was once run over by a moving automobile -- and lived! Kevin once balanced a burning Bible on his head for five whole minutes, even as he perilously staggered. |
