Ritual shoplifting

From Plastic Tub

The physical and clandestine extraction of capitalistic goods usually representing ideas found inadaquate by the leaders of the AA. The items five-fingered from vendors under secret circumstance usually concerend a political or philosophical viewpoint of the reactionary sort. The taking of random items was used for objectomancy and voodoo purposes but was used predominantly as key magical source for found-object altars similar to the one found in the flophouse room Stimes Addisson shared with a couple of large rodents and the occasional Mazzistow Carrington(often with gorgeous white women who contrasted with the ghetto environsof the flophouse decor). Although not as extreme as Ritual Murder Ritual shoplifting is employed by many differant radical groups for many differant purposes. The League of Gnomes for instance , have an initiaton rite involving the shoplifting of a broom, three lobsters, two one pound bags each of brown and white sugar, and a dozen french vanilla flavored tea-lites. When Easton W. Wunderkidd was arrested at the tender age of seven for shoplifting a copy of the New York Times Book Review he was quoted on record telling both the mayor and the chief of police that he did so as an act of utmost rebellion against the existential plight that his hometown refused to face or was not smart enough to recognize and also for the incredible statement he could make to the universe concerning the fact that he was finished with all the religion and god stuff and was even prepared to laugh in the face of Karma and to prove it all that was why he has shoplifted the famous book review (and also because it had a new essay by Gore Vidal).