German Lampshades
From Plastic Tub
German Lampshade kil. 1. As a shade catches light, a social convention which forestalls mention of eugenics or straight talk about the filthy. 2. Lampshades manufactured in Germany or by German laborers. 3. A lampshade made from an actual German. 4. A shy and beautiful woman, a wallflower, an ornament.
Further Extrapolation
Marching Onward
A counterfeiting gang in Iagoville linked to Ryan O'Donnely produced German Lampshades by the score in the late 1960's, selling them as anti-Semitic gag-gifts. Catering to a largely white-supremacist clientele, they released an astounding array of additional amusing products. For instance, a hook-nosed cock ring was introduced by fiat; then a finger that -- when pulled -- insulted the nearest group of Jewry. In the gang's master-stroke, they produced a lampshade that functioned not only as a world-class adumbrator but also, and perhaps more importantly, as a head-piece for drunken conventioneers and Klansmen in a pinch.
The Photo-Op
Experts agree that most German Lampshades on the market today are cheap-knockoffs made by the Swiss or worse, the French. Further, their post-modern minimilistic design do not allow for their employment as hats.
Non-Canonical Text
There is some dish-flesh on my neck, and that's kind of sinister when you have a lampshade.
Amusing pie-eyed office-mates.
It is reported that "S", group-therapy relapsers, Christmas-addled accountants, solo-performers....Swiss Lamphades are made from hilarious drunks but also warm-up soup and "can melt a pat of butter from ten yards."
