Kevin Statham

American. He shows up swinging wildly, his mouth leaking slightly. He is a sandwich of sky, earth and mayo. He receives mustard -- for which he has been asking.

A notorious night-rocker, Statham is perhaps most famous for his narcophilic ability to vomit forth a multitude at a moment's notice. A prodigious drinker and taker of pills, he also produces Anassociationalist short stories. Currently believed to be holed up in his compound somewhere in Central Florida.

Statham was a university acquaintance of Steven Adkins; having lost touch after graduation, they met by chance two years later in a bar in Tampa's Ybor City (the much-missed Emerald).

Statham is sorely missed among AA circles.

Update

Adkins has received an email from the elusive Statham. It goes something like this:

Steve:

11 or 12 years goes by in a hurry. Glad to hear you are alive. As for me, I have found peace and meaning living in service of the Lord. My wife, Wilma, and I spend at least 6 months of the year traveling to impoverished countries, spreading the gospel. Wilma and i are the proud parents of 3 children. Well, to be honest, we are parents of two now. During a particularly grim winter in Cambodia, we were forced to eat our youngest. When we aren't on a mission, i spend my time peddling bumper stickers. my latest reads: "Jesus Kicks Ass. do you really live in France? Reply soon. God told me to skin you alive. kevin.

Known Works

• Bending Denim
• Chicken Fuckin' Man

See also

• P-Boy

Desiderata

Steven Adkins preserved a specimen of Statham's ejected sputum, showing it around to pals later as an example of ectoplasm.

Kevin was once run over by a moving automobile -- and lived!

Kevin once balanced a burning Bible on his head for five whole minutes, even as he perilously staggered.