Kevin Statham
From Plastic Tub
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| == Update == | == Update == | ||
| - | Adkins has received an email from the elusive Statham. It goes something like this: | + | After many silent years, the elusive Statham contacted Adkins. His first email, out of the blue, was this: |
| - | :Steve: | + | :"Steve: |
| - | 11 or 12 years goes by in a hurry. Glad to hear you are alive. As for me, I have | + | :11 or 12 years goes by in a hurry. Glad to hear you are alive. As for me, I have |
| - | found peace and meaning living in service of the Lord. My wife, Wilma, and I | + | :found peace and meaning living in service of the Lord. My wife, Wilma, and I |
| - | spend at least 6 months of the year traveling to impoverished countries, | + | :spend at least 6 months of the year traveling to impoverished countries, |
| - | spreading the gospel. Wilma and i are the proud parents of 3 children. Well, to | + | :spreading the gospel. Wilma and i are the proud parents of 3 children. Well, to |
| - | be honest, we are parents of two now. During a particularly grim winter in | + | :be honest, we are parents of two now. During a particularly grim winter in |
| - | Cambodia, we were forced to eat our youngest. When we aren't on a mission, i | + | :Cambodia, we were forced to eat our youngest. When we aren't on a mission, i |
| - | spend my time peddling bumper stickers. my latest reads: "Jesus Kicks Ass. do | + | :spend my time peddling bumper stickers. my latest reads: "Jesus Kicks Ass. do |
| - | you really live in France? Reply soon. God told me to skin you alive. kevin. | + | :you really live in France? Reply soon. God told me to skin you alive. kevin." |
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| + | Being made aware of the Tub, Statham made an entry for the Calendar, which, though not fit for the calendar itself, merits publications here: | ||
| + | |||
| + | :"JANUARY - Sometimes peripheral AA associate K. Statham was rushed to the | ||
| + | :emergency room after an attempt to prove that man can sustain nourishment from | ||
| + | :art alone. Sources say statham was seen eating pages of his prose, until his | ||
| + | :stomach became overly enlarged. After two hours in the operating room, statham's | ||
| + | :stomach was returned to normal size, although his ego remains as bloated as | ||
| + | :ever." | ||
| + | |||
| + | Welcome back, Kevin! | ||
| == Known Works == | == Known Works == | ||
Current revision
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American. He shows up swinging wildly, his mouth leaking slightly. He is a sandwich of sky, earth and mayo. He receives mustard -- for which he has been asking. A notorious night-rocker, Statham is perhaps most famous for his narcophilic ability to vomit forth a multitude at a moment's notice. A prodigious drinker and taker of pills, he also produces Anassociationalist short stories. Currently believed to be holed up in his compound somewhere in Central Florida. Statham was a university acquaintance of Steven Adkins; having lost touch after graduation, they met by chance two years later in a bar in Tampa's Ybor City (the much-missed Emerald). Statham is sorely missed among AA circles. [edit] UpdateAfter many silent years, the elusive Statham contacted Adkins. His first email, out of the blue, was this:
Being made aware of the Tub, Statham made an entry for the Calendar, which, though not fit for the calendar itself, merits publications here:
Welcome back, Kevin! [edit] Known Works[edit] See also |
[edit] DesiderataSteven Adkins preserved a specimen of Statham's ejected sputum, showing it around to pals later as an example of ectoplasm. Kevin was once run over by a moving automobile -- and lived! Kevin once balanced a burning Bible on his head for five whole minutes, even as he perilously staggered. |
