The Cutlet
From Plastic Tub
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A Drama in Two Acts, by Steven Adkins and Tim Wilson, 1996. The product of Mad Work.
The Cutlet
The cast of characters according to their physiognomic relation to wild beasts:
- Stimes Addisson as the envelope;
- Teaspins Kudos as the starfish;
- Zeus appears in the form of a sperm-whale;
- some Cum is the antelope;
- some Salt is the donkey;
- the Woman is the sea-yage in jelly fish;
- a Kidlet the small child.
- And of course, the Cutlet, as itself.
"An embryo strangles and dictates." ---?
Act One
The stage is completely dark. The spotlight singulates an envelope which comes swishing onto stage, stripping, opening it's contents. The spotlight widens, revealing a scrubby plain, in the manner of the Great Western Dream. Zeus is sitting on a boulder. The cutlet is in a barrel, floating in water. The audience can see inside the barrel due to a contraption that projects it's innards onto a screen, center stage. Two ministers operate the machinery, silently, dressed in black and faceless.
Zeus: (exasperated)
- How dare you know?
- How dare you conspire?
- (The envelope, pausing and working her panties, fraught by ears, perks up.)
The envelope: (slow and basaltic... the need to eye the finger)
- These things will be forgotten; what of it you slinking devils you
- outrageous demons slinking away? and what of my fascination for
- dythrambia? my wife can cum, I can cum shooting out the down flying
- terrorist for five times, my long finger distracted by thumbs, the fact
- that inherent in my shimble is an airwave of skin? Yeddy, it is a
- ganham!
The Cutlet: (in the barrel to himself)
- How about it, Zeus, you high falutin' water spoutin' Ahab fightin'
- mislocation?! ... Yer invoked despite yer adrogynous compliance...
- (it waves a mit)
- The accident is that which precedes perception
- that long kid-thing
- (now singing despite itself)
- an unexpected burst
- loving
- that which predisposes confusion
- in the hallway
- a priori
- (a startling high note)
- to geo-metric perception: given that
- the mind repeats itself in nylons, gloating,
- still as sweet
- as it ever was
- still the shoe
- upon which
- a balustrade lavishes affectation
- and importance --
- upon the so-called "gods"
Zeus: (hearing now the sweet trilling, bellows)
- A HAIRCUT ONE IMPOSES UPON THE I-DEA INITIALLY APPROACHES....!!
- (he goes sheepish and begins more humbly)
- A frying pan
- in which the butter is
- waiting for the weight of a Cutlet!
- (He spits)
Salt:
- the permission of emission
A corsicle bitch:
- The insectide kidlet pinches an ear that scorching demeanor
The Starfish:
Scene:
The Cutlet is floating in a barrel of rainwater. Nearby, the sperm-whale is musing.
The Cutlet:
- burned by the tsar
- bur--
- --ned by the
- tsar
- a crool excess
- east of the tsar eaten
- by the
Tsar:
- My love a single burp
- rinsing instant burns
- Skin made pliant by later-ness
Cutlet (angrily):
- The dream is a noodle connecting life to life connecting coal to flaming
- forebrow
- (Scissors
- scream out
- lacking grace
- but smooth as hell
- and cool,
- besides):
- you pay web boy bun pen
A corsicle bitch:
- a sodden rage
Salt:
- a bootheel (1)
All:
- 3 ways to stuff a gullet
The Cutlet:
- a rattlesnake
The envelope, (strangely reticent):
- Long gram
Imp rat:
The starfish pipes up:
- 4 knees
The Cutlet: burned a tsar ---
- Pork makes a comeback
- makes a revolution in mud
- metaphorical mud
- clings deep
- drawn out strings
- queer loping
- A new gloved managerie.
- (Everything arrives
- on hands and knees
- looking.)
A woman (crooning):
- -- twenty thousand of my men.
- Sit on my couch
- Smiling
- Serene
- in being
- reamed and
Salt:
- Sleeping one callous moment.
A woman:
- -- 20,000 of my menu
- jump!
Salt:
- jingo slut!
- the THICK
- FERN
Kidlet: (hiding red toes.)
- Hid them in a checkered box.
- He checkered past did go
- with a checkered tie and
- bowler
Salt:
- What is the significance of March 1st?
The sperm whale:
- The speed of sound
Kidlet: (walking along a country lane:)
- with pantalones
- checking headed up and low
- in a....
- We hear a muffled scream as the lights go black.
All:
- buh-buhbuhb-buh-buh
Notes
- Brothel prophet.
