Seize Her!

From Plastic Tub

Seize Her! cmd. 1. Variation of Seize Him!. 2. Variation of Caesar. 3. Variation of Seizure.

Extrapolation

The normally aloof Gnomes amended their infamous war cry in response to the flourescing pin-hup of Critical Theory. Facing constant attack from the Frankfurtian left-wing press, shoddy zine culture publications from the normally soporous Midwest, a curious coalition of homosexual riot kings and bling donation funds, the Gnomes eventually retired to their subterranean lair, located at the notorious and oft-disputed Omphalos, and after, assumably, much hand wringing and backslapping emerged with a complete redaction of the ritual codex. Unfortunately, tradition holds a powerful sway, a sway not easily disempowered or shunted, a massive throbby type sway which yields not to the whimsical machinations of over-kneaded doughy bell-ends of a Gnomic leadership seemingly incapable of simply planting their buttocks on the windowsill, mesmerized or no. Field agents and street-hustle crews proved unwilling to utter the newly minted cry, the unweildy but e-prime friendly "Sieze It!" The result was a crisis of weekend-sized proportion -- antagonists slipped away unsmitten, political objectives remained stagnant in back alleys and peadofestivals, gnome implants lost homework assignments, hands withered on the vine. A double-shitty kind of ritual doldrum grabbed hold of the Gnomic ankle, the hot-tub fumes turning hyena-blue -- grottoes worldwide found themsleves paralyzed, confused, debased. From such paucity goeth the martyr! Clearly, a redaction of the redaction was in order. Thus, Sieze Her was born.

Curiously, the ritual response of the Gloved remains the same for both forms, giving the ancient exchange a problematic asymmetry.

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