The Ballad of Pants McFadden
From Plastic Tub
Universally famous fightin' and cryin' tune known to impassioned men and neanderthals alike. It is archetypal in nature and paleolithic in origin. Its author is unknown. This mecurial dispatch of melody is not only present in most cultures, but actually defines them in accordance with their primary desires and fears. It is for this reason that anthropologists herald this ditty not only as a revered artifact of mankind's ancient past but a key to unlock its fading history.
Even though this madrigal meme has enjoyed merciless dissection by folklorists, Marxists, Freudians, feminists, coeds, drunken frat boys, marching bands crammed in school busses and the academy, no one is able to deny its ubiquitous contribution to the art of drinking.
Although many renditions are performed throughout Africa and the Middle East, the world's most famous version of the song heralds from Western civilization were it is traditionally performed with handclaps and fingersnaps and goes by the catchy name of The Ballad of Pants McFadden.
Desiderata
- "One of those drinkin' songs you really enjoy when you are drinkin' songs."
- Alexandre Dacusse to the press after his astounding shadowboxing routine at the Orpheum Theatre.
