Lao Tsang Lillychow

From Plastic Tub

Chinese Born Guangdong Providence 1824, Died Xianggang (Hong Kong) 1904. He is conceived by a shooting star and carried in his mother's womb for 83 years before being born as an old man. Lillychow is a tree frog with flowing white beard. He recieves a fresh apple pie with window pane and wafting aroma finger, offering sweet tickles to the noses of hammock slumbered hobos.

Flowing River

The contradicton that is Lao Tsang Lillychow has baffled historians and occultists alike. Although Stimes Addisson railroaded his confirmation process in a secret early morning session convened over conference calls with his highly esteemed advisors (Tommy the bookie from the newsstand and Mazzy), his place in the AA Pantheon has stood the test of time. The argument was that the controversy spoke for itself. Addison later added that we had no Asian in the club.

Afternoon Tea

His Alchemical achievements, limited to small expolosives and the refinement of the poppy, and his exploits with British turncoats, most newly addicted, and their subsequent uprising are well documented. It would be a mistake to view his internal conflicts simply as those of one who found himself caught between the worlds of the eastern alchemist and the western pawn. In between addictions and betrayed by both countries, Lillychow, desponded by his wife's murder, with a galley of narcotics ,embarked for England past the Cape of Good Hope on a pirate ship. His wise airs and perfectionist attitude with his opium recipe cooled off deep cultural conflicts between his East and thier West.

Dragon Chaser

His time in London was short and tumultous. He quickly set up a gambling shop in the back of a fellow chinaman's alabaster retail outlet in the fiercley racist and desperatley poor neighborhood of White Chapel were he immediatley encountered resistance from the local tobbacanist and thier ruffian comrades. Although Lillychow mixed poorly with the eastern immigrants of the slums he was forced to inhabit, he did finally gain thier acceptance with his invention of the Thai-Stick Spleef, an affordable alternative to the laudanum rage that was destoying the inner cities.

Exit the Dragon

After setting up what would later become Baudalaire's favorite drug supply network, Lao Tsang Lillychow embarked for brighter skies in America. After landing in New York City in 1890, Lillychow. although well into middle age, worked as a chinese-food delivery boy, laundry delivery boy, and towel boy in an Asian Bath outside of Lawerence Kansas were he eventually joined the Eastern thrust of the Trans-Continental railroad effort. His broken english and bawdy tales of far east women established his place around the evening campfire where he delighted the whiteman and the irishman alike.

Smeltering Sun

Lillychow became increasingly ill as the railroad projects were meeting thier mutual conclusion and was afraid that he would not live to see the famous moment were two whiteman would, with a powerful blow to a golden spike take the credit for the work of a half a million refugees. Although he did live to see the historic moment, Lao was ostracized by his silk-panted brethren from San Fransico because of his peculiar fondness for knickers and penny loafers. He died in Utah in an undisclosed location.

Desderita

• His heartbreaking account of the rape of his wife is a masterwork of ink on ricepaper.