Goat
From Plastic Tub
goat n. 1. Multipurpose omnivore. 2. Ancient symbol of Lasciviousness, or Lust. 3. AA totem animal (see Extrapolation, below). 4. The tenth sign of the zodiac in astrology. 5. Alternately symbolic of both gluttony and aspiration.
Extrapolation
Much of Today's enthusiasm for the Goat can be attributed to the ongoing celebration of the numerous enthusiasts of the Blackmore Freehold and thier surronding pastures. Husbandary expert/electric guitarist Ritchie Blackmore founded the Freehold in 1975 after departing the sucessfull music outfit Deep Purple. He attributes his early fascination with goats to a long weekend spent with Jimmy Page at the (former Alister Crowley estate) Boleskine House. Although the Estate was rumoured to be haunted and the owners assured occultists, Ritchie claims that it was a "scruffy young kidd named Elijah that enamored him so."
Non Canonical Text
of the many fortitudes that providence has bestowed upon us his lowly creation is the unkind mirror of natures participants which beguile a beard of goat a lion's mane and discomfort his environs with crag, root and weed. - Clemetus Gildenhonours' Canaanitic Demigods of the lower Abrahammatic Deltas.
Gildenhonours resplendent pronunciamento of everything Capra maywell fair as the penultimate screed on this topic. Although long out of print, the edition arrives on the occasional literary auction block and commands a stratophoric ransom. Philanues Heliophanes (in his final treatise on the influence of the pre-Bacchac cults The Vine and Vice) described the CDOTLAD as the quintessental document to explain the zietgiest and regress of the he-goat during the Pre-Hellenic epoch.
See Also
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Fun Facts about goats
Goats and Stuff'
Ahmed Capra's last name means goat.
Goatsprovide mohair, meat and milk but pigs still have half-hour long orgasms.
The House of Bacchus made the goat-skin famous from Thebes to Toledo.
Goats and Religion
Muslims and Jews have nifty goat stories too
Want to live in high altitudes with little vegetation to appease the Corn God? Try goats! They got mohair, meat and milk and it is not as timewasting as sacrificing a pig.
Goats aren't Evil
Goats make great Lawnmowers. They're more fearsome to Christians than dogs!
They have mohair, meat and milk.
Yom Kippur is about Scapegoats and shit.
