Solomon Witte

From Plastic Tub

1740-1812. He comes in riding on the back of a leather bath-marie. He is a porcupine and receives a knife handle carved of ivory.

Member of the Albert Kook gang. An extraordinary snooker player. Habitual user of opium. Libertine. Patriot. The most extensive collection of sequined breeches in the Colonies and after, the nascent U.S. A lover of ghosts and their letters home. Gave Guvernor Morris the quill said to have written the Constitution. An ancestor of Stimes Addisson.

His birthplace is unknown, but he was killed in Washinton, D.C. during the time when the British burned it to the ground in the War of 1812.

Witte was a "macaroni," that is to say, a dandy. "His breeches were always splendid," wrote Guvernor Morris. Albert Kook wrote that he was often "resplendent." An auto-didact, Witte knew all the classical languages and had passable Japanese. He travelled on a whaling boat for 25 years as a first mate and as a captain. His job on the side was opium: importation. He also smuggled rum, was a Freemason and played a mean game of whist.

He was also a decent fencer and a crack shot. He loved to surf, a habit he picked up in Hawaii. He sported an earring ring and called his wife, Truehope Mathers Witte, "Skippy."