Dewey Rose

He comes in swinging a small monkey on the end of a chain--it turns out to be a pen and notepad. Crumpled fedora following in short order, he tumbles out of the limousine with a boot-print on his ass. He is given nothing, which is more than he deserves, but less than he expects.

A Short Fuse

Smarmy fuck and unmitigated dog pile who got his first break from Balthazar Buehb. Dewey sported many a shiner due to his short fuse and hot temper. Consensus holds he should have been shot -- and indeed he was, on several occasions. He conducted interviews up until 1997, when he mercifully succumbed to emphysema.

Eruption

After many failed attempts at becoming a screenplay writer, a thoroughly disgruntled Rose drifted from job to job. While tending bar at a local sportwriters' watering hole, Rose befriended Balthazar, a columnist for the Workers Weekly World News. Beuhb introduced Rose to painting; Rose introduced Beuhb to explosives. An increasingly delusional and violent Rose would later threaten Adid and Addisson many times.

Fueling Rumors

Stimso always referred to Rose as "Beuhb's Bulldog." Beuhb's participation and subsequent admonition for the leaders of the AA has always been fraught with problems and subjected to intense, critical scrutiny. Many see Beuhb's quick distancing of himself from Dewey Rose as evidence of his AA inclusion; others point to Rose's rumored IRA connections.

Funeral Pyre

Rose's family tried to hold the AA responsible for his death. Their case, based as it was upon forgeries and outright lies, was rejected, albeit barely.

See Also

• Stinking Weed
• The Corner Lot
• Yankee Rose

Desiderata

Rose was born with three testicles - but died with only one. The missing pair is rumored to hang in the horse stables of an Irish hunt master in the County Cork.

As a grade-schooler, he was an obsessive chalk eater, stealing it every time his teachers turned their backs. His doctors later learned that he had a calcium deficiency due to excessive whiskey drinking.