German Lampshades
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Revision as of 05:29, 8 Oct 2004
German Lampshades kil. 1. As a shade catches light, a social convention which forestalls mention of eugenics or straight talk about the filthy. 2. Lampshades manufactured in Germany or by German laborers. 3. A lampshade made from an actual German. 4. A shy and beautiful woman, a wallflower, an ornament.
Further Extrapolation
Marching Onward
A counterfeiting gang in Iagoville, linked to Ryan O'Donnely, produced German Lampshades by the score in the late 1960's, selling them as anti-semetic gag-gifts. Catering to a largely white-supremacist clientele, the gang produced an astounding array of additional amusing products.
How We Did It
For instance, a hook-nosed cock ring was introduced by fiat; a finger that, when pulled, insulted the nearest Jew and, in a master-stroke, a lampshade that functional not only as a world-class adumbrator bug also, and perhaps more importantly, as a head-piece for drunken conventioneers, group therapy relapsers, Christmas-addled accountants, solo-performers and Klansmen in a pinch.
Desiderata
Most experts agree that most German Lampshades on the market today are cheap-knockoffs made by the Swiss or worse, the French.
Non-Canonical Text
There is some dish-flesh on my neck, and that's kind of sinister when you have a lampshade.
Amusing pie-eyed office-mates.
It is reported that Swiss Lamphades are made from hilarious drunks but also warm up soup and "can melt a pat of butter from ten yards."
