Dime Bag of Verse

"The poet creates the poem first, an important start. But I rush ahead excitedly, let us pace ourselves. This poem we are to make is to be made as a poem, not as an act of masturbation or dilly dalliance. One shouldn't be planning to read it, for instance, or mail it to an editor. The poem produced can be seen as a stern matron -- womb dried up, hands cubbed with large knuckles, face tempered by the sun into an unending, witheringly unapproachable grin. This grin is your mountain peak, fix upon it, set sail¹  and climbing spike steady, grimly. Do not, however, invite disaster by looking always over your shoulder or consulting dictionaries, thesauri or billboards visible from your derrick window. Rush headlong is the order of the day."

"Imperative also is the use of a machine for composition. I prefer the IBM Selectric -- a revolutionary beast of throbbing pulchritude. Though you may wish to employ some alternate machine. Whatever. You may as well choose to breath alternate air, to flood your body with alternate blood, to shit out alternate, impossible golden turds. No, best stick with me: The IBM Selectric is a furiously modernist example of form coupling with function. Driven by it's proto-gnostic pivoting typeball -- the Selectric quite literally fucks the poem into existence. So, thusly prepared, secure a surface to accept the poem, aware that size is your key to success. Choose easily foldable strips of no larger than an inch and a half in width and 12 inches in height -- greater dimensions precludes placement into the dime bag and defeat the excercise entirely. Fortunately for the intrepid dime-bagger, in the form of purchase receipts, a suitable medium is daily produced in staggering amounts."

Wilson, incredibly, explains further:

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Non-Canonical Text

When the Police investigated further, they decided to give him a ticket for loitering and told him to go home.

Note 1:   Curiously, to this day, Wilson believes some manner of sail is needed to climb a mountain.

Two dimebags from 1994, a very rare example of the form.

See Also

• Mom Jokes

Desiderata