Seize Her!
From Plastic Tub
| Revision as of 07:17, 28 Jan 2006 Payne (Talk | contribs) ← Go to previous diff |
Current revision Payne (Talk | contribs) Extrapolation - link |
||
| Line 5: | Line 5: | ||
| ---- | ---- | ||
| - | The normally aloof [[Gnome]]s amended their infamous war cry in response to the flourescing pin-hup of [[Critical Theory]]. Opting initially for a complete redaction of the ritual codex, members proved unwilling to utter the unwieldy but [[e-prime]] friendly "Sieze It!" and produced a severe kind of ritual [[doldrum]]. Thus, Sieze Her was born. Curiously, the ritual response of the [[The League of Men with Fancy Gloves|Gloved]] remains the same for both forms, giving the ancient exchange a problematic asymmetry. | + | The normally aloof Gnomes amended their infamous war cry in response to the flourescing pin-hup of [[Critical Theory]]. Facing constant attack from the Frankfurtian left-wing press, shoddy zine culture publications from the normally soporous Midwest, a curious coalition of homosexual [[riot]] kings and bling donation funds, the Gnomes eventually retired to their subterranean lair, located at the notorious and oft-disputed Omphalos, and after, assumably, much hand wringing and backslapping emerged with a complete redaction of the ritual codex. Unfortunately, tradition holds a powerful sway, a sway not easily disempowered or shunted, a massive throbby type sway which yields not to the whimsical machinations of over-kneaded doughy bell-ends of a Gnomic leadership seemingly incapable of simply planting their buttocks on the windowsill, mesmerized or no. Field agents and street-hustle crews proved unwilling to utter the newly minted cry, the unweildy but [[e-prime]] friendly "Sieze It!" The result was a crisis of weekend-sized proportion -- antagonists slipped away unsmitten, political objectives remained stagnant in back alleys and peadofestivals, gnome implants lost homework assignments, hands withered on the vine. A double-shitty kind of ritual doldrum grabbed hold of the Gnomic ankle, the hot-tub fumes turning hyena-blue -- grottoes worldwide found themsleves paralyzed, confused, debased. From such paucity goeth the martyr! Clearly, a redaction of the redaction was in order. Thus, Sieze Her was born. |
| + | |||
| + | Curiously, the ritual response of the [[The League of Men with Fancy Gloves|Gloved]] remains the same for both forms, giving the ancient exchange a problematic asymmetry. | ||
| == Non-Canonical Text == | == Non-Canonical Text == | ||
Current revision
| Seize Her! cmd. 1. Variation of Seize Him!. 2. Variation of Caesar. 3. Variation of Seizure.
[edit] ExtrapolationThe normally aloof Gnomes amended their infamous war cry in response to the flourescing pin-hup of Critical Theory. Facing constant attack from the Frankfurtian left-wing press, shoddy zine culture publications from the normally soporous Midwest, a curious coalition of homosexual riot kings and bling donation funds, the Gnomes eventually retired to their subterranean lair, located at the notorious and oft-disputed Omphalos, and after, assumably, much hand wringing and backslapping emerged with a complete redaction of the ritual codex. Unfortunately, tradition holds a powerful sway, a sway not easily disempowered or shunted, a massive throbby type sway which yields not to the whimsical machinations of over-kneaded doughy bell-ends of a Gnomic leadership seemingly incapable of simply planting their buttocks on the windowsill, mesmerized or no. Field agents and street-hustle crews proved unwilling to utter the newly minted cry, the unweildy but e-prime friendly "Sieze It!" The result was a crisis of weekend-sized proportion -- antagonists slipped away unsmitten, political objectives remained stagnant in back alleys and peadofestivals, gnome implants lost homework assignments, hands withered on the vine. A double-shitty kind of ritual doldrum grabbed hold of the Gnomic ankle, the hot-tub fumes turning hyena-blue -- grottoes worldwide found themsleves paralyzed, confused, debased. From such paucity goeth the martyr! Clearly, a redaction of the redaction was in order. Thus, Sieze Her was born. Curiously, the ritual response of the Gloved remains the same for both forms, giving the ancient exchange a problematic asymmetry. [edit] Non-Canonical Text"Rape" just sounds so... well, sordid... [edit] See Also |
[edit] Desiderata
|
