Tub Book: Glossary I - K

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* Sausage * Sausage
* Snack Cake * Snack Cake
 +
 +Kapital
 +
 +kapital km 1. Money, and plenty of it, as posited by need and hunger; desire plays a part, but only when cash is exchanged for DVD's. 2. A book by Marx and Engels.
 +
 +See Also
 +
 +* poob bargain
 +
 +Knot
 +
 +knot n. 1. A thorny problem. 2. The product of tying; a means of joining rope or holding things fast. 3. A lumpy protrusion. 4. An entanglement; a dense interlacing of vapor. 5. A nautical measurement of speed. 6. Marriage (To tie the knot).
 +
 +Usage
 +
 +"...a technical marvel of stupendous importance in the history of sailing and lynching..."
 +
 +"...not to be confused with not..." -- Alice in Wonderland
 +
 +See Also
 +
 +* Bolt
 +* The Double Stimes
 +* La Ligue du Masque CancĂ©reux
 +* The Untieable Knot
 +* The Worship of Tits
 +
 +Kumquat
 +
 +kumquat re. 1. An egg-like fruit. 2. A whooping cry issued at the apex of masculatorian coital experience. 3. A migrant worker's daughter.
 +
 +Extrapolation
 +
 +Choco used the word in his infrequent insults, such as in the following: "Kumquat-assed bitch!" This came from a strip during a storyline which ran from July 16 and August 10, 1982. Unusually dark and brooding, we saw Choco undergo a series of defeats and moral setbacks that led him briefly to alcohol and abusive behavior towards women. Fortunately, series creator Jonathan Trenchwheat put a stop to this downward spiral and Choco again became the sober and gentlemanly figure which has become so beloved in many parts of the civilized world.
 +
 +See Also
 +
 +* Nut
 +* Watermelon

Current revision

Iagoville

Iagoville is a small town in Northwestern Whatever, founded by some fellow who had a deep appreciation of Othello -- initially naming his only child "Honest Iago" until uncountable flurries of punching caused him to reconsider, re-christening his boy "Poopster Den", after the Math Rock band founded nearly a hundred years later in the same town, immediately following the delighful coronation of birds, as painted by Max Ernst in a profoundly autonomic manner, indeed.

In most circumstances, Iagoville is considered a town, but recent events have led many lovers of enigmatic demographic benchmarks to propose an alternative nomenclature. The none-too-obscure "suburb" remains a perennial favorite, due mostly to the opening of a second KFC.

Some suggest, however, that the 5 miles of undeveloped quasi-rural property between Iagoville and the nearest fringe of legitimate sprawl from Northwestern Whatever make this label incompatible wih its true nature, which should in fact be best described as "post-redneck transitional proximity population node."

See Also

  • Purvey Dicklock
  • Ryan O'Donnely
  • Zion Hoagie

Imp

imp im. 1. A diminutive human capable of preposterous nastiness and perversity. 2. euph. In Dacussian parlance, an under-aged female. 3. A large-nosed midget or dwarf, in this capacity used as slander. 4. A self-destructive urge.

See Also

  • Gnomes
  • Homunculus
  • Lil' Robin Redpants

Incident

Incident pop. 1. Something contingent on or related to something else. 2. An occurrence or event that interrupts normal procedure or precipitates a crisis. 3. Falling upon or striking a surface.

Extrapolation

"The Incident differs from other material phenomena only through an involvement with perception and in this light can be studied under the mantle of etiology; the eye plays the part of an infecting agent of Mind, infusing the whole with meaning. The Incident is defined by it's relation to a viewer, who acts both as intrepreter and associational instigator. As further explanation, we may relax into the vernacular: if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to witness it, did it fall? The question moves from pure materialism to one of teleological concern, arguably the territory of cognition. Further, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody sees it, does it matter? Theorists of the Incident suggest not; natural activity occuring outside perception is of little, if any, concern."

Non-Canonical Text

Meat sometimes appears on the horizon -- a hundred years apart!

See Also

  • Autotelic
  • Incidentalist

Incidentalism

Current of AA thought made manifest after the 3rd AA International Conference.

Incidentalism is stoic, "realist" or rather, naturalist, hard-core, whimsical, realpolitik, cynical, smiling and quite trustworthy.

It is that strain of AA thought which focuses not on the Accident, the flicker of chance which precedes perception. Nor the Association, which turns that glimpsed thereof into the pattern developing from a series of such minute explosions. No, it is the event itself they revel in.

Incidentalists do not believe in revelation but hunch, deduction and construction.

Incidentalists want to minimalize spectacle, but they do want spectacle insamuch as they prefer a flea-circus to the Super Bowl.

Whimsical and amiable, however, in that all Accidents and Associations can meet at the sand pit for a game of horseshoes.

Mazzistow Carrington, Verna Cable and Steven Adkins can be seen lurking about Incidentalist shindigs.

See Also

  • Incidentalist Dead Flesh Bonanza


Incidentalist Dead Flesh Bonanza

A Way Outre

The Incidentalist Dead Flesh Bonanza is an annual barbecue (BBQ) held on the American continent since the late 1960's. Though the origin of the festival is obscure, it's contemporaneous manifestation served as an immediately adequate curative to the strife resulting from the 3rd AA International Conference. Currently cookin' up the goods every last Saturday in August, it attracts up to 500 visitors each year. Abdullah (Bean Man) Alabudi edged out an unknown named Dill Herbert at last year's chili cook-off, but the competition is as hot as the chili.

Counting Beans

The sack race, egg toss and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey are still popular activities, though since 1990 they've been held earlier in the day to combat the effects of drunkenness. Stimes Addisson tripped over a cowshoe at the 1970 Bonanza and fractured his hip. The hip, thoroughly shattered, was but one of many ailments which plagued Addisson in his later years. Cane in tow, "Make way for the gimp!" became the battle cry when confronted with a queue, usually accompanied by a grinning cartwheel of grace.

Cooking With Fire

The Bonanza was last held in August 2004 in Tampa at the residence of early AARG sympathist Douglas Coyle. Current AA partisans Tim Wilson, Steven Vogeler, Krystine Monitzer and Steven Adkins attended the shin-dig with bells on -- literally. Shaped like crude dreidls, these playful objects spun like the beards on a belly dancer, which is to say, counter-clockwise. The bells, in addition to warding off mosquitos, commemorated the creation of the golem as described in the Poobinomicon and added delightful jingle-jangling to the rough and tumble of the three-legged race and the wheelbarrow. A watermelon weighing 13 pounds was ritually consumed.

See Also

  • Mazzistow Carrington

Infancy

infancy new. 1. Baby-hood. 2. A state of newness, pregnant with possiblity. 3. A rudimentary stage; early history. 4. obs. Silent.

Murder, Neotenybaric

mistaken strato neoteny

"...life seemed to be headed towards elbow patches and pipes when he received the letter that would change his life. This letter was intended for Stimso Adid, who lived at a nearly identical address. Addisson, having little better to do and intrigued by such an event, decided to pay this Adid a visit and see what kind of person he was. The meeting changed his life."

See Also

  • Creation Myths
  • Dewey Rose

Jingo

jingo n. 1. The cant of Poobs. 2. A popular Lil' AA character. 3. A person who encourages war and militancy; of a particular nationalist slant; an asshole. 4. A Scottish exclamation of surprise, considered mildly ribald in certain cirles (By jingo!).1

Extrapolation

When Lil' AA creator Jonathan Trenchwheat created Jingo in August of 1964, the character was originally a woman. Conceived as a kind of "cutie-pie Red Lady of Babylon", Trenchwheat hurriedly transformed the character into a dwarf in the very next Sunday strip. Though the change was inexplicable, not a single reader complained and the Red Lady was never heard from again. Even reprints of the single panel of Jingo's introduction have been excised, replaced with a rather crudely scrotted illustration of a pigeon.

The original run has since become somewhat of collector's item, and, collectors being what they are (Poobs), the origin of the character's name has been subject to some speculation.2 Some have pointed to the dwarf's habit of stamping on bystander's toes, suggesting a connection of pointless militarism. Other's have suggested Freudian connection between the Red Lady and the jingo-ring, a ritual game popular in Scotland around during the late 1800s. Jingo-ring was similar to ring-around-the-rosy; young girls would link hands, encircling and twirling about a central lass (the "jingo") while sing-song-chanting, "Here we go the jingo-ring, The jingo-ring, the jingo-ring, Here we go the jingo-ring, About the merry-ma-tanzie."

Trenchwheat remains tight-lipped, even (some have suggested) somewhat annoyed by the whole debate; he typically responds to letters of inquiry on the topic with an envelope of used dental floss.

Notes

Note 1: Richard Lancelyn Green, whose grandfather was extraordinarily Scottish, was a real fan of the saying, especially after a couple sifters of brandy.

Note 2: Stan Lee added fuel to the fire when he referenced the strip in his popular Son of Origins (Simon & Schuster. New York, New York. 1975) collection, noting that "...those familiar with Iron Man today may be shocked by his original appearance, as Marvel pulled a real Jingo twist on his costume."

Johnny Cake

Jo(h)nny Cake pnu. 1. Euphemism for the pancake among American settlers and their descendants. 2. Tim Wilson's funkadelic audio release from 1996, on the short-lived Alpha Chimp label. Extrapolation

Lambasted by Rolling Stone as "pure crap," the album has still managed to find a steady audience. Cuts can frequently be heard on the kind of college radio stations prone to playing Jandek (http://tisue.net/jandek/).

Track Listing

1. Over The Hump, Darlin' 2. We've Got the Motts 3. The Ballad of Pants McFadden 4. Crank the Shaft, Squat the World 5. Have A Slice of Johnny 6. Call me Mr. Funky, But Call Me 7. Plump Sister Roll Over 8. Essay On The New Machinery 9. You Dropped the Bum On Me 10. Super-Doodle

Non-Canonical Text

"I've outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and two well-diggers, and two ditch-diggers, and a bear, and a wolf, and I can outrun you too-o-o." Last words of Have A Slice of Johnny.

See Also

  • Pickle
  • Sausage
  • Snack Cake

Kapital

kapital km 1. Money, and plenty of it, as posited by need and hunger; desire plays a part, but only when cash is exchanged for DVD's. 2. A book by Marx and Engels.

See Also

  • poob bargain

Knot

knot n. 1. A thorny problem. 2. The product of tying; a means of joining rope or holding things fast. 3. A lumpy protrusion. 4. An entanglement; a dense interlacing of vapor. 5. A nautical measurement of speed. 6. Marriage (To tie the knot).

Usage

"...a technical marvel of stupendous importance in the history of sailing and lynching..."

"...not to be confused with not..." -- Alice in Wonderland

See Also

  • Bolt
  • The Double Stimes
  • La Ligue du Masque CancĂ©reux
  • The Untieable Knot
  • The Worship of Tits

Kumquat

kumquat re. 1. An egg-like fruit. 2. A whooping cry issued at the apex of masculatorian coital experience. 3. A migrant worker's daughter.

Extrapolation

Choco used the word in his infrequent insults, such as in the following: "Kumquat-assed bitch!" This came from a strip during a storyline which ran from July 16 and August 10, 1982. Unusually dark and brooding, we saw Choco undergo a series of defeats and moral setbacks that led him briefly to alcohol and abusive behavior towards women. Fortunately, series creator Jonathan Trenchwheat put a stop to this downward spiral and Choco again became the sober and gentlemanly figure which has become so beloved in many parts of the civilized world.

See Also

  • Nut
  • Watermelon