The Redbook (part 3)
From Plastic Tub
Collection of poetry by Steven Adkins (2002-2003)
TAMPA I want to open that delicate soul flower again but only for you I can get laid like that (snaps fingers) but she talks too much and is not you dansk mutter rotund like Europa PP Reubens painted your elbows that night, on the highway Royal Mount, N.C. it got hot during the night and you took off your clothes I know cuz I saw flash of white bottom hint of breast from behind and the side you were lifting the covers to get in your bed that glimpse is a gift a treasure of memory already painted on the mind’s canvas One last view of the moon before heading out to space John Locke you ain’t got shit Boxing day A glimpse of a fire-nugget small moments of peace but waiting…. still waiting I. The house is empty of the physical bodies of people I don’t say people because they are there This place is redolent of humanity Such a plenitude My mother’s cupboard a cornucope Walls aflame – no! (heh heh) I look down the curvature of the court and see a golf course upon which I have fucked and smoke endless bowls The dark conundrum of my soul is a sable racing thru the undertow of nature imagery My dog is afloat. A bed of coals to trod upon A tight rope to …. what? ponder? encounter? Make sure you try to walk it But set it a few inches off the ground until you learn it Hit it Aim High, just use a ladder II. If Memphis lies the need to be here together becomes an opportunity knocking That I am still in love is not surprising That I still write about it is a lil’ moreso (I daresay) Insomuch as…. A Romanian Jewess she is tough she is bitter She drinks too sweet wine And hands crumpled pound notes to a pet monkey who stores it in the upper boughs of the beanstalk What did you expect? A sentimental tale Tall as a blond SS Officer A dagger of lightning Resistance camps, yeah, My Holocaust Mein Schatz Gulp This monstrous deliverance Human sacrifice for cult of Black Death Run afoul of the Crypto-Masonic conspiracy of light Have I no feeling for pain and suffering Can’t I approach anything without that maudlin proclivity of mind? <Where is the suffering zygote?> Criminy and crikey Yorkshire pudding and pot roasts Boxing Day 2001 Goofy visions cannibanized aloof in good human concerned about smell in room expecting her and the other thing I don’t deliver…. Whoa now there is wind and a flowered bedspread What I lie down in for dreams is like an idyllic field of daffodils I can float across the indifferent malaise of suburbia and cast an eye about for visions turn the tan and the grey into the Mountain of Heaven and the balmy Plains of Ellsinore Grails pouring manna (Le Marquis de Sade c’est mort) the gentleness is open for business III. The whole rub was that he could not stop when the leaves still speaking like CEO’s giving dictation (dictating, in other words, but not in short) All right you clanging you can stop Now listen there is a jetliner how can I not think of you? It’s like having someone to talk to something to do What a cheapness I suppose I am infected No need to proselytize Explain Communicate I shouldn’t complain I don’t pack a gun carry a pumpkin This disorder of mind Chaos on pentip Distilled into usable fragments “a pale reflection” into the -------- broken disorder jammed ammunition Oh drop it just drop it you are just filling space killing time saving face making rhymes disavow the meta get into symbol disavow the concept the jesus view the unopened head the scarce dog get out of time with whatever it is that is around you at this very moment do it now: kill your parents seduce your prepubescent neighbor wipe your ass with Old Glory send a check to Osama she escaped two night with me what is it? when exploding eggs bite themselves they do it fiercely know your diseased cutlet: the sound of my bowels is the music of the stars the silver foxes the silver foxes slivers rock tundra snow two unprofessional thieves inserting articles into THE HARVARD CRIMSON a young couple in LOVE marches in the rain “too damn wet for the liberals” one is a good old texas boy drugs are the future drugs and computers made in 1980 about 1968 that’s about right “that arm owes me 27 dollars” UFO Sightings: 420 those second no those last two numerical facts come from a cartoon and a TV commercial, respectively the title of this poem is “3 vignettes from a small circle” (you got too close and backed out too late) A great father farther than stone away in a land of pillows thrust among green grass white eggs nestled among nests of bioluminescent snails the trodden path crosses through the gate & down around the rectory look over the hill and thru the boughs the sun is rising isn’t it beautiful I am inspired and woozy with poetry in the goldenred splendour spreading upon the cheek of Dawn. yep. And already I am bored (as in shot thru with drill-bit) that is too much for me now my masochism daze behind me so the refrain you always sing…. your art of psychic wounding…. where is the wastebasket? challenge and stimulate me but don’t berate me and make me wither (wither wenst thou?) Into my head where you were still my friend I’m writing you off out and over it is not over there is the red and then there is the black my mobility being a case of infiltrated wings the leather is brittle the screws rusty and loose the latticed wood frame has mildewed and the feather of the goose – atrocious How do they expect me to fly in this contraption? Say I remember an anonymous mister singing Kyrie Elysons and offering hope the wings cannot be repaired…. all materials are being directly funneled into the war effort the key then is to learn to fly again a new style adapted to the machine super clean cadywompous like a bike ride thru suburbia the air is balmy and cool and the nights are even cold I have grown so distant from this place in such a short time it may as well be death unfolded that scabrous hulk the neolithic typewriter produces it lumbers and roars pees on its pant leg and disavows something it hasn’t quite comprehended the amazing energy of the natural elite it has been lost here long ago yeah this foolish parade stalks by seemingly unencumbered but the long and the short of it is a decadent despair a kingdom jaded by vice in irrevocable decay an empire even or merely on beleaguered soul the mountains are on fire the eagles are waiting This is the end of the Redbook a certain plan of autobiography gone awry I have been challenged on everything in less than a week I am more committed than ever I have overcome that which cannot be written I still nurture my superstitions like babies bearing broadswords as I head into the BLACKBOOK