David Payne

Dave Payne's appearance in Water:Pillow, playing the flannel-robed head wound.

Transplanted north from Tampa to Minneapolis, Mr. Payne bicycles. More reticent than reluctant, he continues to counter claims that his myostatin gene has been artifically silenced.

He enjoys fingerpicking his guitar and finding haiku while perusing the Sunday ads. His heirloom tomatoes are said to be divine. He famously eggs on the competition.

The son of Baptist missionaries, Payne spent his childhood in such exotic locales as Shanghai, Cairo, and Zephyrhills, Florida. Asked why he chose to settle in Minneapolis, he responds with a shrug and a quick punch in the stomach.

See Also

• BAM
• Desiderata 90

Homunculi fling him like a puppet.

Desiderata

As a young man short on cash, Payne once swapped his shoes for The Velvet Underground and Nico.

Payne celebrated his 21st birthday while misinterpreting the pidgen-French mutterings of a voodoo priest.

His family claims that a very young David spent countless hours creating phonts and layouts but suddenly stopped when he discovered television.

Payne prepared for his Water:Pillow role by living under a set of stairs for several months.