Balthazar Buehb

Iranian. Born Jan. 17, 1918 in Tehran. He shows up in a sparkling juice-suit, transported largely by spirit. He is hollandaise sauce, sprinkled by ghosts, a companion star venerated by savage rags. He receives lice, a dutiful tribute, smiling, for the dead: "what physicality, this!"

Buehb is one of the more complex figures in the AA story. Buehb was the first journalist to take a more than passing interest in the activities of Stimso Adid and Stimes Addisson, the two young firebrands who had caused a minor stir in 1946 with the publication of their broadside: "Who's Stalin?" In the wake of the ensuing publicity surrounding the investigation of the pair and their magazine, Reticent 27, Buehb was sent to follow up on the fallout by his employers at the Workers Weekly World News. Buehb became an admirer almost immediately, and though he later sought to become part of the movement, Adid always kept him at arm's length.

Buehb was generally a more understanding figure than later Associationalist detractors give him credit for. There is even some speculation that the adversarial relationship, the acrimonious letters to the editor, the vicious insults, etc. were all part of a ruse, and that Buehb was really on the inside; in this scenario his role as nemesis serves a more profound, if obscure, purpose. In any event, the man is dead. He was shot while on assignment in the disputed Kashmir region between India and Pakistan on July 14, 1998, at the age of 70. He is remembered as much for his dry wit as his enormous, bulbous nose.

Adid himself mellowed on the man in later years and often spoke highly of him, strictly "off the record."

Buehb was born to a small-time grocer who left Iran soon after his first and only son's birth. Joining the community of "Little Tehran" in Brooklyn, the elder Buehb was active and prominent in the small but bustling local Zoroastrian community. In fact, he once helped the local police bust a cell of the Mormo cult which had infiltrated a band of local youths by taking the guise of Ormazd, the Zoroastrian deity of darkness. Apparently some unknown outsiders had got the young rebels all stirred up against their parents and lured them into the trap of Evil with promises of cigarettes. If they hadn't started kidnapping negro girls from the neighboring areas, they would have gone undetected, written off as just another street gang engaging in vandalism and shoplifting. Young Balthazar was impressed. In later interviews he points to this incident as the spark which led to his storied career in journalism.

During his teen years Buehb was a go-getter. From 13 to 16 he wrote, edited and published the Brooklyn Bone, a newspaper which reported on the comings and goings of his little community. His paper featured a Ms. Lonelyhearts section which was sursprisingly mature for its author's age. The Bone folded when young Buehb went off to the Columbia University School of Journalism.

Known Works

Anecdotes of Association, experimental memoir.

Don't Get it? Let Me Touch You, political pamphlet.

Dreams of a False Nose, situation comedy script.

Our Gang, hysterical clap-trap.

See Also

• Alembic

• Dewey Rose

Also an accomplished artist, Buehb's Great Satan I love Yoo (Get the fuck out of Vietnam!) caused riots when first displayed at the Fourth International Accidentalist Conference in 1968.

Desiderata

He had a brief role in Back to the Future II, as an old cowboy. He kidded Michael J. Fox about his freckles and the pair remained in touch until Buehb's death. The two visited Kevin Bacon on the set of Footloose and smoked a "j" in Bacon's trailer

Buehb was President, for 27 minutes, of the floating island democracy/AA-funland "Wee-Wee".